Another Year Come And Gone

Hello.
My name is Spenser.
I am now 25 years old.


Allow me to inform you on just how depressing that is for me particularly.
***
Yesterday (sort of) was my birthday.  I say sort of because I was born on the 11th, and I understand that I am posting this very early on the 13th.  But by my own highly evolved rules for dates it is still the 12th.
My rules really aren't that evolved or complicated...I just don't want to explain the one rule.


I turned 25 years old.  Which to most other people on this ocean-covered paradise I call home you, call Earth, it's not a big deal.
LETMETELLYOUWHYIT'SABIGDEAL.
I had plans.
MANY plans.
Many MANY plans.
None of those plans have come to pass.
None.
Do you know just how many that is?
It is zero.  That's how many.


I am obviously making the wrong plans, or the right plans but at the wrong time.
/le sigh
***
I don't mean for this to become my sad blog, but generally when I have something amazing and awesome to post I put it on Shuffle'N'Flow.  Meaning that when I am feeling a little less than stellar I only have one place to place these negative emotions, and that is here, seeing as how I am next to terrible at actually talking about them or expressing them in any other way.
***
There is a girl.
I have really liked this girl for the better part of two semesters.
This girl is a friend.
All girls are friends.
This is my life.
This was NOT one of my plans.


I had great plans of coming home from my mission in California and quickly becoming married to the girl of my dreams, my high school sweet heart.
That didn't happen.
I had good plans to find a great girl quickly after this first plan failed and settle down, get marriaged and move on past the loss of the first girl.
That didn't happen.
I had mediocre plans to find a good girl sometime before I turned 23 for sure!  Any older than that and I would be an old, crotchety, cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
That didn't happen.


And so here I sit, at the tender, young age of 25 posting about how sad and lonely I am while there are millions around the world who are in MUCH worse places than myself.
"By biggest fear in life is that I won't be married by the time I'm 25."
#FirstWorldProblems
I am officially a menace to society.
I do not like it.
I never wanted it.


Stumbling upon these discoveries just makes me more angry about other minute things in my life that shouldn't be a big deal but due to increased self-awareness and intense emotional frustration have become a big deal.
Like how I hate being friend zone'd.  So annoying.
Or how I hate when all people do is talk, talk, talk and spend so much darn time talking that they completely miss the opportunity to ACT.  And how they think of how their action(or more fitting IN-action) affects others.


Once I go to bed I will feel better.
I always do.
They day I wake up sad will be a horrific day.
Let's pray it never comes.


Maybe I will post tomorrow a happy post so I can add some sunshine to this dung heap.


~Boy