I.

It has been a long time.  I apologize.
It seems very easy for me to get sidetracked from posting on my blog.  If you haven't noticed that by now, and you are somewhat of a reader of my blog, I apologize.
I think part of the problem is when I have nothing in particular to post about, I'm not very good at making something up or acting like something cool happened when really nothing cool happened.
I'll give you a recap of my AMAZING three-day weekend...


A group of my friends and I had an INCREDIBLE plan for the Memorial Day weekend...
Brenton and I were going to leave Thursday night and head up to our friend's cabin in Island Park to get it ready for everyone else to come up early Friday afternoon.
CHANGEOFPLANS
We are now going to go up Saturday...to a different cabin.
CHANGEOFPLANS
Since a couple of the people that were going to come up with us have to give talks in church on Sunday we are just going to go up on Sunday after church and enjoy Sunday afternoon and Monday.
CHANGEOFPLANS
It is now Friday afternoon and I have already skipped my classes for today.  David (one of my roomies) comes in and informs us that he, as well as three of the other people that were going to go with us (including the girl who was in charge of all the plans for the weekend) are instead going down to Utah for the weekend.
But they try to make it ok by telling us that we can all still go to the cabin if we want.
...
So not going to happen.


So my awesome Memorial Day weekend was spent in my apartment.
OHEXCEPTFORTHATPARTWHEREWEALMOSTDIEDINTHEWILDERNESS
Ya...that happened.


Monday, after crushing it at the gym for a solid 2-3 hours we decide that those of us who were left in Rexburg would go to the Ice caves.
This seemed like a good idea.
However, the lady who was leading our caravan of happy travelers had NO FREAKIN' IDEA WHERE SHE WAS GOING!!
We found this out rather quickly...as she was trying to get to the Ice caves via some crazy back road from the freeway.  Anyone who has been out to the Ice caves or the Civil Defense caves knows that the way to get there is to just take the road past the WalMart FOREVER until you get there.
So we ended up never getting to the Ice caves.
But we DID get to drive around in the middle of nowhere for over 4 hours.  And I'll tell you what, that was just as fun.
Oh, wait....no it wasn't.
It basically sucked.  And I'm not just being a Negative Nancy.  It really did suck.  And you can ask anyone that we were with.  We all kinda wanted to shoot the lady who was supposed to be leading us.  We were all very cranky, had to use the bathroom, and could eat a small pony...EACH!
The upside to this story is that we DID find a sweet series of caves.  They weren't the Ice caves...but they were cool and small!  They went underground for a bit then came up for a bit then went back underground for a bit.  It was a super cool series of little mini cave/tunnels.  THAT part was fun.
***
And now it's almost the weekend, again!
Which I couldn't be more happy about.


Um...I feel like I need more I's in this post...
Ingeniously-built igneous igloos inhibit ice cream ingestion.
And THAT makes no sense, but at least I feel better about my I's.


~Boy

Hungry, Hungarian Hippos

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'H'.

H.

This brief childhood flashback has been brought to you by the number 7.

:)

***

Today is the day to choose to be happy.

Sometimes, when I am sitting comfortably on my American-sized throne, I forget that I have so much to be happy about.

How can this happen?

I'll tell you how.

Entitlement.

This, in my opinion is the most corruptive word in the English language.

It's a terrible thing, this entitlement.

To believe that you have EARNED something.  That you are OWED something for your sacrifice, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears.

Did the Savior feel entitled to anything?

No.

So neither should I.

I feel that because I make a habit of keeping the commandment, attending my church meetings, paying my tithing, helping others, and just trying to be an all-around good person I am somehow entitled to happiness.

That happiness will just be thrust upon me.  That it will be presented in a pretty little package, just waiting for me to pick it up and open it.

Why?

Happiness isn't a destination.

Happiness isn't a state of mind.

Happiness isn't found in the journey.

You must discover what makes you happy.

You don't find it as if you were stumbling over it, lying in the middle of life's path.  You discover it after searching, working, digging, and praying for it.

Now, don't get me wrong.  You can certainly find things that will make you happy for a time lying in the path.

If this were to be a metaphor(which it is, since I am the author) as you walk along life's path, you are a child.

Children like to pick up cool things.

Shiny things.

Like neat looking rocks.

I know I did when I was a kid.  I had a whole pouch of 'em!

This is great.  Everyone needs to find something that brings them some measure of happiness.

But don't. pick up. ROCKS.

These rocks begin to burden us.  Weigh us down.  Cause us strain in this life that we needn't have!

Rocks are heavy.

They look cool.  They may be smooth and polished, blasted so by nature over thousands of millions of years.  Or they may be volcanic.  Filled with pits and bubbles with cracked and jagged edges.

But they will only weigh you down.

My biggest rock that I carry?

Things.

I LOVE things.

I love having things.  I love discovering things.  I love playing with things and finding out how exactly things works.

But things take up time. And space.

I have fond memories with things.  Things that are indoors, particularly.

It's not until I think of how much time I've spent with my things that I realize how happy I could have been doing something else.  Something more productive.  Something outside.

I sort of forgot where this tangaent was going...

So I shall stop living in the past, and instead live in the now!

NOW is the great day of our happiness.
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

This life is for us to be happy.  To discover happy.  To live in such a way that we will truly be happy now and in to the eternities.

I know these things because of the greatest source of happy in my life.  The Gospel.

It has made me so happy.

The only time I really get upset or saddened is when I forget it, and it's far-reaching implications.  I forget that there will be justice.  That there will be mercy.  That I can trust in His promises and that He will make sure that I am happy.

***

I will close this post with sharing a couple of the things that bring me happy in this life.

This song makes me happy.  I can't be sad a hear it.  It simply causes all feelings of sadness to flee.  I first discovered it when I worked at American Eagle.  It made me happy then, too!

My childhood, while being so depressing at the time, makes me happy.
And yes, this Slowpoke represents my childhood.

ITMAYALSOBEMYLAPTOPBACKGROUND.

My upbringing made me who I am today.  I may not be perfect, but when I really get down to brass tax, I like who I am.

I make me happy.

I am a goof.  A big one.

I think that I hide this most of all when meeting new people.
I don't know if it's that I fear their rejection or what, but this picture accurately depicts me.

I can't jump very high(but getting better), I'm not in immaculate shape(but getting better), and I HAVE been to the Golden Gate Bridge.  Just once.

This is my best friend Ivan, and me, in downtown Minneapolis (I believe).

My friends make me happy.  And who better to represent my friends than my best friend, Ivan?

***

That's enough happy for today.

I should get out of the bathtub and go live a little, I suppose.

~Boy

Good. Great. Grand.

I apologize for my previous post, in which I was in a less-than stellar mood.  I am much better today.
The Lord has some very miraculous ways of answering prayers.
LETMEGIVEYOUANEXAMPLE
This morning I was still feeling some of the grumbles from yesterday.
I really didn't want to deal with the day ahead of me.
So I prayed.
and prayed.
and prayed some more.
That Heavenly Father would simply let me get through this day without having a psychological meltdown.
He has answered.  In the SIMPLEST way!
I have seen a ton of my friends on campus today.  I've even received smiles from other passersby whom I do not know.  It has brightened my soul.
And now that makes me feel foolish for my attitude last night.
And my accusations of yesterday being such a terrible day.
In reality it was a pretty great day!  I just had an hour or two of sadness, and I let that get to me.  Which was the wrong way to handle things.
I apologize, interwebs, for filling you with my emo rant.


***


FOR INSTANCE:
Yesterday was awesome because I pulled out my guitar, which I haven't played in forever, and played for a while!  A couple hours actually.
Which had both amazing and not-so-amazing effects.
Amazing: My roommate thinks I sound as if I have gotten better, despite the fact that I haven't played in months.
Not-so-amazing: My fingers hurt.  A LOT!
Which stinks for the time being, but it is going to be awesome later, once they callus up.
I also had the opportunity to go to G's Dairy with an amazing girl, whom I think is just grand.
SOWHATWASISOUPSETABOUT?!
Time to move on...


***


I need to hit up the gym today.
I haven't had a great workout in a couple days, and so I feel less than stellar.  So I will try and get one of those today.
And if I can't do that, I will run.
Running is relaxing and draining and amazing.
I love feeling super tired after a workout.
So my goal for today is to get that feeling.


***


I may or may not be typing this while I am in my Marriage Prep class.
Do I feel guilty?  Probably not as much as I should.


***


I also need to spend more time playing guitar today.
On Sunday we had to opportunity to hear a special fireside with Cactus Jack.  Who is a new singer whose albums are sold in the Church bookstores.  It was awesome and all KINDS of inspirational.
It makes me want to sing more.
I used to sing all the time.  I was very musical.  Guitar, choir, e'erything!
At some point I buried that talent. Now THAT is something I feel guilty for.
And so I have goals set for today...
Gym
Guitar
Girls.


I know I didn't really talk about girls being a goal earlier, but girls are ALWAYS a goal.
THE goal.


~Boy

Firetruck

That's all.  Firetruck.
ok...that's a lie.  I may just be using Firetruck as a filler word while I think of other F words.
ok...that's a lie, too.  I can think of TONS of F words.
Flower
Fountain
Faucet
Fat
Faint
Friend
Flatulent.
These have ALMOST nothing to do with one another.
ok...that's a lie.  They DO have something to do with one another, except the last one.  I just really wanted to use the letter L somewhere in there other than flower.


***


First and foremost, I believe that everyone at BYUI should have to take a Water Fountain awareness and etiquette class.
FOR INSTANCE:
If you have a water bottle and you are at an area where there are multiple water fountains, let's call them low fountain and high fountain, do yo fill your bottle at the high one or the low one?
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.
If you said the high one please take my course on fountain etiquette.
You should fill it in the lower one so that the half dozen people who also want to get drinks of water behind you don't have to bend down repeatedly while you take the equivalent of eighteen fountain times to fill your precious bottle.
Because that's common curtesy.  Everyone likes being nice to others, right?
Right.


***


Today has been a...relatively normal day.
Unfortunately, when I have "normal" days, they are not spectacular days, and when they are not spectacular I do not feel fantastic.
Getting older has taken it's toll on me.
My roommate Caleb seems to have no problem being 28 and single, and I envy him so much.
I really wish I could go back to being complacent about this topic.
Then I would complain about it less.
Then, maybe, I would actually do something about it.
*WAH-wah....*
I am half a week away from going to all of my ex-girlfriends in high school, middle school, etc. and asking them why on earth they ever dated me.
Because I am clearly doing something wrong.
I don't know if it is because I am just slightly too unattractive.  If it's because I don't have flawless skin.  If it's because I can't lift a Volkswagen.
IDUNNO
I feel like I'm a rather amazing person, and that I have a lot to offer, but that for some reason I am never able to share it.  Maybe it's because I'm too shielded?
AGAINIDUNNO
What am I supposed to be learning from this time?  That's the only reason I can really see that it hasn't already happened,  What does my Father want me to see?!


***


Sorry, that was a depressing rant.
I promise, most of the time I am a flippin' happy person.
Just not tonight.
Too many friends...
not enough finds.


~Boy

Entities Entitled to Endings

It may have taken me more than a minute to write that title.  Possibly more like 2 minutes...
IT'SHARDTOTHINKONTHESPOT,OK?


***


Despite the fact that E is the most used letter in the alphabet (S being the second most) it is not terribly easy to think of words that start with E.
So much, in fact, that I didn't start a single word with it until I just said easy.
Errrrr....WROTE easy.


***


I have been a terrible tenant on this blog.
And I think I know what the problem might be.
I'MSLIGHTLYANATTENTIONWHORE.
ok, I said it.
When I was in High School, all of my friends had blogs.  We all had blogs and we all liked sharing them with each other and posting and commenting and just making a gay old time out of having our own little online journals that everyone on the e-nternet was free to read.(That was a stretch, I know.)
It was so much fun that I somewhat loathe the day when we stopped using them.  We moved on to other things...I don't know WHAT other things, but other things.
So now we are the proud owners of blogs that exist in cyberspace but have no visitors and no real meaning anymore.
I know exactly where mine is, still.  I go back and read it sometimes because I enjoy how funny I was.
However, anytime I go back and read it I do get a little upset/amused with how silly we all used to be.
How we thought that breaking up was the end of the world.
How spending a matter of hours apart from one another seemed like an eternity.
How funny we thought Chuck Norris jokes were.


***


You don't know this, but you have just been part of a miracle.
A miracle of the internet.
It's called "2 hours just went past and you didn't notice a single thing."
I started typing this while I was in the Crossroads with some friends, and now I am picking it up again while in my Communications class.
Funny that I am going to a Communications class after having so many miscommunications.  I guess I need this class more than I thought!


***


Anyway, blogs are cool.
The moral of that story is that I really enjoyed getting all that attention and sharing that attention with my friends.  NOW when I blog, there is no immediate gratification besides that of just getting my thoughts into the Pensieve of the interwebs.
I have to stop now because apparently it is time to learn...
/le sigh


***


NOW I'm back.
Again.
This post has officially taken more time than ANY OTHER POST I'VE EVER WRITTEN!
I have left it and come back I believe three time.
This is how dedicated I am to this post.  Do you understand my love for you, reader?
...creepy...


***


So, it is hard for me to blog when I don't get that immediate satisfaction of having my friends see it.
I love all the blogs I've created over time.  I think I technically have 4...
That I can remember.
HOWEVER, I have re-made this blog twice I think...so...it's more like 6 or 7.


***


Elephants in the room are fun...
not.


***


This last week has been a week of coming to understand exactly what I want from my relationships.
A roommate and I were going for the same girl (yes, for a whole week.  I know.  We're grown-ups now)
As dumb and silly as it is to say, it was genuinely tearing me up inside how I should proceed.  I didn't know if I should keep going for her despite the fact that my bro saw her first and somewhat had claim on her...
No, women are not meat.  Men just need order to these things.
In the end I went for her anyway.
It didn't work out.
I don't think it's working out for them either, so I'm not a freak or something, she just doesn't like either of us.
Which is comforting to my self-esteem.
Greatly comforting.
Because it is a huge blow to my fragile ego whenever I get shot down.
A N Y W A Y . . .


***


This week has followed weeks of working out with David, that was mentioned in the last post.
And I have come to the following conclusion:
I love exercise.
I love lifting weights.  Getting stronger.  Running.
The tradition.  The ritual.
It makes me feel comfortable.
safe.
And it's nice because with my specific body-type I get to see almost immediate differences!
I've even turned my normal walking around campus between classes into an exercise.  I take as many stairs as I can.  Go out of the way to see my friends on campus(mild perk)
All-in-all, it makes for highly enjoyable days and extremely fulfilling nights.
I have a very strong sense of accomplishment when I get home from working out.  One that I don't have from any other activity.


***


All-in-all is all we are.
...
Just a little Nirvana break there.


Everything is right with the universe as far as I can see.
I just need to date up more and update more.


~Boy