Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Entities Entitled to Endings

It may have taken me more than a minute to write that title.  Possibly more like 2 minutes...
IT'SHARDTOTHINKONTHESPOT,OK?


***


Despite the fact that E is the most used letter in the alphabet (S being the second most) it is not terribly easy to think of words that start with E.
So much, in fact, that I didn't start a single word with it until I just said easy.
Errrrr....WROTE easy.


***


I have been a terrible tenant on this blog.
And I think I know what the problem might be.
I'MSLIGHTLYANATTENTIONWHORE.
ok, I said it.
When I was in High School, all of my friends had blogs.  We all had blogs and we all liked sharing them with each other and posting and commenting and just making a gay old time out of having our own little online journals that everyone on the e-nternet was free to read.(That was a stretch, I know.)
It was so much fun that I somewhat loathe the day when we stopped using them.  We moved on to other things...I don't know WHAT other things, but other things.
So now we are the proud owners of blogs that exist in cyberspace but have no visitors and no real meaning anymore.
I know exactly where mine is, still.  I go back and read it sometimes because I enjoy how funny I was.
However, anytime I go back and read it I do get a little upset/amused with how silly we all used to be.
How we thought that breaking up was the end of the world.
How spending a matter of hours apart from one another seemed like an eternity.
How funny we thought Chuck Norris jokes were.


***


You don't know this, but you have just been part of a miracle.
A miracle of the internet.
It's called "2 hours just went past and you didn't notice a single thing."
I started typing this while I was in the Crossroads with some friends, and now I am picking it up again while in my Communications class.
Funny that I am going to a Communications class after having so many miscommunications.  I guess I need this class more than I thought!


***


Anyway, blogs are cool.
The moral of that story is that I really enjoyed getting all that attention and sharing that attention with my friends.  NOW when I blog, there is no immediate gratification besides that of just getting my thoughts into the Pensieve of the interwebs.
I have to stop now because apparently it is time to learn...
/le sigh


***


NOW I'm back.
Again.
This post has officially taken more time than ANY OTHER POST I'VE EVER WRITTEN!
I have left it and come back I believe three time.
This is how dedicated I am to this post.  Do you understand my love for you, reader?
...creepy...


***


So, it is hard for me to blog when I don't get that immediate satisfaction of having my friends see it.
I love all the blogs I've created over time.  I think I technically have 4...
That I can remember.
HOWEVER, I have re-made this blog twice I think...so...it's more like 6 or 7.


***


Elephants in the room are fun...
not.


***


This last week has been a week of coming to understand exactly what I want from my relationships.
A roommate and I were going for the same girl (yes, for a whole week.  I know.  We're grown-ups now)
As dumb and silly as it is to say, it was genuinely tearing me up inside how I should proceed.  I didn't know if I should keep going for her despite the fact that my bro saw her first and somewhat had claim on her...
No, women are not meat.  Men just need order to these things.
In the end I went for her anyway.
It didn't work out.
I don't think it's working out for them either, so I'm not a freak or something, she just doesn't like either of us.
Which is comforting to my self-esteem.
Greatly comforting.
Because it is a huge blow to my fragile ego whenever I get shot down.
A N Y W A Y . . .


***


This week has followed weeks of working out with David, that was mentioned in the last post.
And I have come to the following conclusion:
I love exercise.

I love lifting weights.  Getting stronger.  Running.
The tradition.  The ritual.
It makes me feel comfortable.
safe.
And it's nice because with my specific body-type I get to see almost immediate differences!
I've even turned my normal walking around campus between classes into an exercise.  I take as many stairs as I can.  Go out of the way to see my friends on campus(mild perk)
All-in-all, it makes for highly enjoyable days and extremely fulfilling nights.
I have a very strong sense of accomplishment when I get home from working out.  One that I don't have from any other activity.


***


All-in-all is all we are.
...
Just a little Nirvana break there.


Everything is right with the universe as far as I can see.
I just need to date up more and update more.


~Boy

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