Green and Yellow

Tomorrow is the big day.
What day?
Why, the Super Bowl of course!  It wouldn't matter if it wasn't Green Bay.
Listening to Green and Yellow by Lil Wayne before I go to bed for luck.
***
The last 24 hours have been full of all sorts of emotions.
(This is where you get to know me a little better if you don't know anything about me.)
Emotions are interesting topic for me.  I would say I am ultimately run by emotions, but I have a hard time talking about emotions.
When dealing with others, I often level with people on the plain of logic.  What is logical vs. what they feel they should do.  And although I see completely what is logical for myself, it is often my heart that has the last say on the matter, rather than my brain.
With that statement in mind, that I am run by emotion...
I just had a small revelation.  I was going to say that I don't understand why it is hard for me to talk about emotions, but that is just the answer as well as the question.
It doesn't make sense, and that is the point.  Emotion doesn't make sense.  That being said, however, does not help me at all.  I just don't like talking about feelings.  It makes me uncomfortable.  To talk about others feelings is fine.  Wonderful, in fact.  I enjoy when others share what they feel with me, because that is a part of them.  Sharing what you know isn't special, because anyone can know something.  Sharing what you feel IS special because not everyone (and probably no one) can feel the exact way that you feel about something.  And even if they can feel their own interpretation of the same feeling, it isn't the same as YOU feeling it, because it's them not you.
If I feel so good when others share a part of themselves with me, what keeps me from also sharing a part?  Is it because I believe they won't treasure that like I do?  Is it because then I am more open to them, and thus more vulnerable?
I think so.
Wow, I am blowing my own mind right now, even if it doesn't influence you at all.
***
So...today:
-Had people over last night who stayed until very late.  (There were a plethora of emotions there.  Apathy, jealousy, anxiety, pride.)
-Woke up around 2 to a phone call from work telling me that they were using my on-call due to Justin, the head manager, going home sick.  (No emotional response.)
-Worked for 5 hours. (Not many emotions.  Happiness.  Light-hearted.  Childish.)
-Went to a Chinese New Years party that I was invited to by my friend Natosha.  It was alright.  I got there;  People went on the roof and lit sparklers; I looked out on the city and thought about Spiderman;  We played signs;  I left during an awkward pause in the action about an hour into the party.  I was lost beforehand in downtown Minneapolis due to some misinformation.  Afterwards I drove home quite sad that I didn't really meet anyone at the party, although there were many that I didn't know.  I think I am better at one-on-one meetings vs. a bunch of people that know each other meeting me, the outsider.  Or even a meeting of a bunch of strangers.  I don't feel comfortable being the only outsider.  So, I self-reflected on the way home, and felt bad, then I got home, watched some stuff on hulu and now I feel good again, ready for bed, church tomorrow, and the Super Bowl.
So, a minor roller coaster day, but C'est La Vie.
Tomorrow will be better.

~Boy