Dangeresque!

Dang dark derp.
I have been terrible at getting back to this blog, and I apologize.

I apologize so very much...

Today is D.

I have had a TON of D's to talk about over the last couple days but I honestly don't think I have any today...

So I guess we'll travel back in time and I'll give you a glimpse into my delightful days.


***


This last week (the first week of the semester) has been amazing for working out.  We have a new roommate, David, who is the younger brother of Mike and Luke who were my roommates previously, and he is a MONSTER in the gym.  He is built like the Incredible Hulk with the brain of Professor Xavier and the kind, gentleness of a dainty butterfly.
So he's been working out with me everyday.  And I mean EVERY DAY.
It's great!  Because I love to work out, but I don't do well on my own...he pushes me.
That's the first D.


Yesterday was Saturday.
And let me tell you what...
IT WAS AMAZING.
Just beautiful outside.  Tons of sunshine, a light breeze, and lots of us college kids running around.
We, as an apartment, really wanted to play some volleyball.
So we did.
And naturally, whenever you are outside and it's beautiful out, what do you want to do?
Take your shirt off, of course!
So we did.
This one time in my life I actually gave in to the tempting voice in the back of my mind that said "put on some sun screen" that sounds oddly enough just like my mom.
So I did.
UNFORTUNATELY when you are super sore from working out with David everyday and can't really reach every point on your back you end up missing a lot.
So now I have some super sweet designs on my back from where I could reach and apply my own sun lotion and stayed pretty darn white and where I couldn't and got ridiculously sunburned.
I blame it all on Brenton.  I asked if he would help me put on lotion.
He didn't.
So I burned.

C'est la vie.
It's not like I haven't been TERRIBLY sunburned before.  It's not like I am super white and this happens every year inevitably.  I guess it's better to get it out of the way early and just get cancer...
or something.


ANDTHENLASTNIGHT we were going to go to the school dance.
We ended up NOT going because we were all super burnt out from uber sun damage.
BUT we did hang out with super cool girls David and Brenton met at Kiwi Loco the other night.  We all went to Big Juds, a first time for me, and had deliciously-prepared hamburgers.
Afterwards we all decided that it would be an amazing idea to get temporary tattoos and put them on our arms, then walk around all look super tough until they wore off.
Little did we know that these temporary tattoos are AMAZING.  They look like legitimate tattoos and didn't even come off in the shower this morning.
Mind you, I didn't scrub it off or anything, but it also didn't just fall off on it's own.
We also followed through on our other plans to go to some haunted houses afterwards.
They ended up being more like haunted sheds, but they were still pretty neat.
Bianca, David, and Brian attempted to scare everyone, but they only successfully ended up scaring Ashtyn.  Who proceded to curl up in the fetal position anytime she heard a noise.
It was SLIGHTLY adorable.


After all the walking around in haunted sheds we ventured back toward the haunted swing and were shot by locals with paintball guns.  They were real mature.  And I appreciated their gesture of love.
Oh ya, and I hope they die.
Just a little.


Then we all laid on the grass, looked at the stars and played the laughing game.
You know, the one where you put your head on someone's stomach and they put their head on someone else's and so on and so forth until everyone has a head on their stomach and their head on someone else's.  It was cute.  And magical.  And funny.


It reignited some of my love for astronomy.
I was a huge space buff in middle school, and it was nice to delve back in to that a bit.


***


So now I sit with my super sunburned back and shoulders typing this on my couch.
And I am happy.


~Boy

Crunch Time

C is for cookie.
Cookie is for me.
Not really...but I couldn't resist!!


***


So, I completely dropped the ball yesterday.  Which happened to be the first day of classes AND our first trip to BWWs for the semester.
How did I drop said ball, you ask?
I forgot to update this bad boy with my alphabet soup post!
But now I shall amend such mistakes!


***


As previously stated, yesterday was the first day of classes here on the BYUI campus, and I must tell you...
I AM SUPER-DUPER EXCITED FOR MY CLASSES!!!
I don't know about my classes on MWF, but at least TTh classes are going to rock the house.


Oh man...I had some ridiculously good words to post today using the letter C but I seemed to have completely forgotten them some time during the night...and now it is morning.


Also yesterday, as previously stated, was our first BWWs trip of the semester. (One of many I assure you.)  Beforehand, because there was a ludicrous wait time we stopped at Best Buy, my old stomping grounds, to check in on getting a new amp for my subs in my car.
Upon arriving I was immediately filled with nostalgia.  I missed it a little bit, and yet part of me didn't miss it at all!
The moral of the story is, I got a new amp!
So now today, after doing homework and working out I will be installing it in my car and will be annoying the neighbors with my amazingly loud rhythms!  And I couldn't be happier.


***


Being the marriage-seeking male that I am, upon arriving in any of my classes I immediately begin to scan the room for potential suiters.  My first class was a bust, but luckily my second and third class made up for it.  I found in my communications class there is even a cute canadian.
Which makes me HAVE to share something I have learned over the many years and experiences I have had in my relatively short lifetime with girls:
Canadian girls cannot be not cute.
It's a cold, hard fact people.
I have known and met a plethora of Canadian girls in my lifetime (which number could be quickly boosted by me living so close to the border no matter where I live) and all have them have been beautiful.
I think they put something in the water, personally....
Because that doesn't happen anywhere else!
CERTAINLY not all Minnesota girls are cute.
Not all Idahoan girls are cute.
Not all Utah girls are cute.
Not all American girls are cute.
But all Canadian girls?  Definitely cute.
Whether it be one of the girls from Canada whose name ALSO starts with a C, like Carly or Chanel, or if be one of the many WITHOUT a C name, like Megan or Nathalie!  Possibly even the one's whose names I cannot remember.  ALL CUTE.


***
Speaking of cute, I got my haircut yesterday, and as I was running late to my communications class a nice older lady in the hallway told me she liked my hair, and that she thought it was very cute.
Talk about a self-esteem booster.


P.S. I KNOW I'm getting older now because I am starting to like my hair more and more while it is relatively shorter vs. when it is longer.  It is just so dumb and unmanageable when it gets past a certain length.

So there it is!  I like it.
IN SPITE of the fact that my hairdresser from Evans' Beauty School seemed like she absolutely hated life, my hair, everything, and everyone.


***


I woke up before my alarm this morning, thus explaining why I have free time to post things on my blog.
THISNEVERHAPPENS.
I honestly can't tell you the last time I woke up before my alarm.
And I don't just mean a couple seconds before my alarm, because that happens all the time. I usually wake up the the click that my alarm makes right before it goes off.  Sometimes, if I gain enough alertness in the minute milliseconds before the actual alarm sounds, I can successfully turn it off before even hearing the peace-shattering, ear-piercing screech that the little black box next to my bed makes.
I mean a full freakin' HOUR before my alarm is supposed to go off.
THAT never happens.  So, finding myself in this state, I didn't quite know what to do with my life.  So I came to you, bloggy mcbloggington.


But now that I am done with this, I think I will work on some homework so that I can put my subs in sooner tonight.
TOOMUCHHAPPINESS


~Boy

Burger

B is for back in Bernardino.

Being back in San Bernardino was the best.

For the very last part of our road trip in SoCal we stayed with one of my recent converts, Kim Fox.

She's not really a recent convert anymore...she's been baptized for 3 1/2 years.

Which still feels like it was just yesterday to me sometimes.

THEMORALOFTHESTORYISTHATITWASAWESOME!

I was so dang happy to travel through my mission.  It made me ridiculously trunky for the mission.

TRUNKY

Our road trip was amazing.

The wedding was SO amazing.

It's hard to believe that my boy Luke is married, now.  It's a hard reality to deal with.

One of us is gone.

It's sad.

But yet I am so freakin' happy for him.  Him and his bride, Caitlin, looked so darn excited.

It made me want to be married.  Hardcore.

But in a good way!  Not the "Wo is me!" way but the "That is so what I'm supposed to be doing with my life right now!  I would enjoy that, I think."

Now we're back in Rexburg.

ANDIT'SAMAZING,TOO!!!

Our apartment is all Minnesota boys.

There are only 5 of us, and it's great.

Time to get ready for volleyball.

Because it's the greatest.

~Boy

Albert in a Can

In my scoping of the interwebs today I found that one of my super cool friends started posting her way through the alphabet, letting the the letter of the day determine what she posted about.
ITHOUGHTTHISWASAGOODIDEA!!!

So I decided to steal it...

***
Today's post is brought to you by the letter "A".

The message of the day is All is safely gathered in.

This is a title of a publication put out by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints about proper fund management.  Today, however, it applies to my vision of one of my best friends Luke and his soon-to-be wife Caitlin.
My friends and I have been road-tripping around California for almost the last week.  Today we finally arrived at our destination in Riverside with Caitlin and her family.  Seeing Luke together with his family, in-laws, and future wifey made me so happy for him.

I would really like that happiness for myself someday.

I'm sure the time will come, someday. :)

***
Also the theme of our road-trip has been THIS SONG:

I promise that if you will watch that video twice, you will watch it a thousand times.  It will be so engrained in your mind you won't be albe to get it out.

It's fantastic.

A.

~Boy

Another Year Come And Gone

Hello.
My name is Spenser.
I am now 25 years old.


Allow me to inform you on just how depressing that is for me particularly.
***
Yesterday (sort of) was my birthday.  I say sort of because I was born on the 11th, and I understand that I am posting this very early on the 13th.  But by my own highly evolved rules for dates it is still the 12th.
My rules really aren't that evolved or complicated...I just don't want to explain the one rule.


I turned 25 years old.  Which to most other people on this ocean-covered paradise I call home you, call Earth, it's not a big deal.
LETMETELLYOUWHYIT'SABIGDEAL.
I had plans.
MANY plans.
Many MANY plans.
None of those plans have come to pass.
None.
Do you know just how many that is?
It is zero.  That's how many.


I am obviously making the wrong plans, or the right plans but at the wrong time.
/le sigh
***
I don't mean for this to become my sad blog, but generally when I have something amazing and awesome to post I put it on Shuffle'N'Flow.  Meaning that when I am feeling a little less than stellar I only have one place to place these negative emotions, and that is here, seeing as how I am next to terrible at actually talking about them or expressing them in any other way.
***
There is a girl.
I have really liked this girl for the better part of two semesters.
This girl is a friend.
All girls are friends.
This is my life.
This was NOT one of my plans.


I had great plans of coming home from my mission in California and quickly becoming married to the girl of my dreams, my high school sweet heart.
That didn't happen.
I had good plans to find a great girl quickly after this first plan failed and settle down, get marriaged and move on past the loss of the first girl.
That didn't happen.
I had mediocre plans to find a good girl sometime before I turned 23 for sure!  Any older than that and I would be an old, crotchety, cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
That didn't happen.


And so here I sit, at the tender, young age of 25 posting about how sad and lonely I am while there are millions around the world who are in MUCH worse places than myself.
"By biggest fear in life is that I won't be married by the time I'm 25."
#FirstWorldProblems
I am officially a menace to society.
I do not like it.
I never wanted it.


Stumbling upon these discoveries just makes me more angry about other minute things in my life that shouldn't be a big deal but due to increased self-awareness and intense emotional frustration have become a big deal.
Like how I hate being friend zone'd.  So annoying.
Or how I hate when all people do is talk, talk, talk and spend so much darn time talking that they completely miss the opportunity to ACT.  And how they think of how their action(or more fitting IN-action) affects others.


Once I go to bed I will feel better.
I always do.
They day I wake up sad will be a horrific day.
Let's pray it never comes.


Maybe I will post tomorrow a happy post so I can add some sunshine to this dung heap.


~Boy

PROPS x 8!

I have to throw up some mad props for this amazing blog I just found...
shufflenflow.blogspot.com
Seriously hilarious people that make this!  If you enjoy me, you will also enjoy this.


I hope to meet these men some day, because they sound amazingly, hilariously fun!


~Boy

P.S. I might actually be one of these people...just maybe.
(I AM)

I Have Betrayed Thee, Sir Blogginton.

I love my blog.

I love blogging.

...

Maybe love is too strong a word.  Need is probably better.

Without somewhere to mentally vent to, I find myself slowly circling the drainpipe of sanity.

***
It's not that I don't trust those around me to carefully tend to the mental anguish that I would surely dump upon them, it's just that I don't want to burden them with that.

It takes a special/strange kind of person to genuinely WANT to listen to others' problems and simultaneously help them with them.  I just don't think I know any of those people.

Because I am one of those people, and I certainly don't know another me.

And so I return to thee, my little blog.  A place where I can vent to myself, really, and then help myself...somewhat.

You see, often the best medicine for me is to just talk it out.  Or I guess in this case to type it out.

Anyway, let my delve in to the heart of the matter, ya?
***

After a long hiatus I again find myself needing to talk with someone.

You.

The reader.
Me.

The internet.

A couple matters have been gnawing at my mind for a while and I try to stay away from mentioning anything that others would find offensive on Facebook because that's not how I like others to perceive me.  I know when I see others posting heavily slanted things there I am overcome by a strong desire to de-friend them or avoid them or I don't even know what.  Just leave them alone.  I don't know.

What lies at the forefront of my mind is the desire to be perceived in a certain light.  This is something I think about regularly and others do, too.

Even if you are one of the strong, independent, take-nothing, give-less people out there who believes every man is an island and cares not for how others perceive them, you DO care that people know you don't care.  Otherwise you wouldn't make such a big deal about it.  The only true people who don't care what people think of them are those who have absolutely no connection to any other humans.  The instant you meet another human being it becomes your role to establish who you are.  Even if that is establishing that you don't care whether they believe you are establishing yourself.

I feel I have found myself in a position that I never intended to put myself in, but after searching my actions twice and thrice over, however, I can see that where I am, I put myself.

Others believe that I am above it all.  I've been told this by a small number of individuals who I've come to know enough to trust me with their opinions of me.

I seem to put off an air of being better than others.  Snooty.  Uncaring.  Unflinching.

In the battlegrounds of social interaction I seem to stand in the middle of it all watching arrows and flames whiz past and deflect off of armor that I have.

While this would initially sound like a wonderful trait to have (that of impenetrability) ESPECIALLY in the realm of social actions where men and women are cut down every day due to no weakness of their own but only the malice of others.

***

Side note: I really want to play Kingdom Hearts right now.  There is nothing I want more.
***

However, this same gift can be a curse.  What cannot be penetrated by the sword can also not be penetrated by the heart when dealing in metaphors.

Certainly on a real battlefield things are different.

I do not want to give off this impression!  I want others to know they can feel comfortable around me.  I want others to know that I am not off in some castle in my mind, without feeling for their words, struggles and passions.  I care about others and wish to be cared about in return.

I often find myself feeling as my friend Cobian sometimes expressed in High School that ALL are deserving of my love, and so how could I ever love one more than another?  How could I single out an individual to be especially close to when I feel such a strong desire to be close to all?  I have certainly found those in my life that I would care to be close to, perhaps even romantically, but it is this cursed armor that I have supposedly erected that doesn't allow me to embrace them fully as I would wish to.

And so I ask you, what is one to do?  How does one change them self?  I know I have often heard others say and even heard myself council to others that every day is a new day and you can be whoever you want to be.  The past is dead and the future has not yet happened.  Do not worry about them.  Only think of now and of who you want to be and then act as is appropriate!

But words are cheap.

It is certainly easier to say that I will change and be exactly who I want to be today rather than the slightly different me that I was yesterday than it is to actually do so.

Even if I WERE to change and be exactly who I wanted to be, would that be best?  What I want and what is best are not always in line with one another.

That I can recognize.

So, I guess in the end, the main struggle that I have is whether my true lot is to be who I want to be, or whether I am intended to always be different from that man I so idolize simply because it is better for the whole if I do NOT become him and instead become comfortable with the man I am and perfect this role before trying to switch to another.

You see, if life was a play, I would be trying to play the lead role as well as multiple supporting roles.  And you cannot very well perform a play with all the complexities of a life with only a handful of actors, or even just one.

I have expressed before the concern that I am not the lead actor in my own performance of life.  That I am somehow letting others upstage me, despite the fact that we are all meant to be the lead role in our own play.

***

I know that I'm just not asking the right questions.  My mother can usually help me sort out things the best.

She is like me.

Polar opposite from me.

But, still, very much like me.

She always asks brilliant questions that lead me to find the solution to my problems, as if she had already arrived there days before and was simply pointing out the bread crumbs on the trail that I am supposed to follow.

I aspire to lead in this same way.  Not by iron fist, but by bread crumbs of knowledge and light.

I know I am supposed to lead.  It's a daunting task, and I interpreted it differently at first, but I know what I am supposed to do.  I still do not fully understand HOW or WHERE, but I have at least come to terms that I must.

It's a strange feeling.  Of that you can be sure.

***

And so I return to my first point:
We are treated how we act.

Others perceive us how we act.  We act how we want to be perceived.  Others again, act on their perceptions.  It couldn't be any more simple of a design.  But it has far too many far-reaching implications to be taken lightly.

Leaving me with three golden questions:
1.) How do I want to be perceived?
2.) Is that best for others, for myself, for both, or for none?
3.)Am I approaching this all wrong?

I am prone to answer yes to the last question, but then again I am one who thinks very low of himself when it comes to perceptions, but that's only because I know all of my faults much better than I know my strengths.

~Boy