From The Awkwardly Feminine To The Possibly Canadian

The current layout of my bedroom puts my computer directly in front of the window, or at least half of it, and the crack from where the blinds don't fully cover the window is directly to the right of my monitor.

Why am I telling you this?

Because now you know why the cold airs comes in through that crack and directly onto my hand atop my mouse, making it frigidly cold ALL THE TIME.

***

Despite the fact that I sleep in until noon most days, I am slowly getting on top of my life.  I'm working on finances, planning class schedules ahead, doing taxes, etc.  It's fantastic!  But you know when I do this stuff?  2 AM of course; When else would I do it?

***

Tonight, as I was at another amazing night of karaoke, my friend Natosha texted me asking me about girls and stuff.

First, note about girls: (or as far as my experience has brought me) if they want to know who you like, it means they like you, and want you to say them...OR, they want you to ask them in return who THEY like, and then they can tell you that they like you.

ANYWAY, I got sidetracked.

So, she texts me, and starts talking girls and asking me who I like.  I respond with my "vague" yet true answer that I like a lot of people.  She comments on my vagueness and proceeds to badger me for more information as to why I'm not dating anyone then.

I freeze.

I have no idea how to respond to that.

Why AREN'T I dating someone?

It really comes down to my low self-esteem, but you don't just tell people that everyday.  So I start searching for other reasons as to why, or what could possibly be fueling my self-esteem issues.

I've got nothing.  And so that's what I give her.

"I dunno..."  She isn't happy with that, but goes to bed anyway.

So, whatever issues I have with dating any of the people that I am interested in, I had better sort out rather quick-like if I want to have any chance of getting a girl in Idaho.

***

Getting your driver's license sucks.

Note: I've already had one, just from another state.

Now, I have to get one in Minnesota because I lost my Wisconsin ID, and I have to take a test and get my driver's record and it's all just very tedious.  It would be so much easier if there was an online database that the local DMV could go to and check on the status of my previous ID.  Oh wait, there is one of those already?

It's called the internet?

Well, I'll be darned.  Apparently the DMV has never of this magical thing.  Their website hasn't been updated in YEARS (or at least looks it), all their services are either by mail or by phone, and they're just about as helpful online as they are in person.

***

There is a nasty smell in my fridge and it is tainting the water.

My yogurt tastes terrible.  Never, EVER will I betray Yoplait, again.  Anything else just isn't the same.

~Boy

P.S. Wimp.com is a wonderful resource for finding interesting videos about science/life/comedy/etc.  It has blown my mind tonight.

H2O

Not a whole lot to report today.
...
Worked.  Went to FHE.  Played video games.
...
Probably the most important part is when I bought some sweet argyle socks from Target for super cheap.
...
Oh, and I probably have bronchitis.

~Boy

Green and Yellow

Tomorrow is the big day.
What day?
Why, the Super Bowl of course!  It wouldn't matter if it wasn't Green Bay.
Listening to Green and Yellow by Lil Wayne before I go to bed for luck.
***
The last 24 hours have been full of all sorts of emotions.
(This is where you get to know me a little better if you don't know anything about me.)
Emotions are interesting topic for me.  I would say I am ultimately run by emotions, but I have a hard time talking about emotions.
When dealing with others, I often level with people on the plain of logic.  What is logical vs. what they feel they should do.  And although I see completely what is logical for myself, it is often my heart that has the last say on the matter, rather than my brain.
With that statement in mind, that I am run by emotion...
I just had a small revelation.  I was going to say that I don't understand why it is hard for me to talk about emotions, but that is just the answer as well as the question.
It doesn't make sense, and that is the point.  Emotion doesn't make sense.  That being said, however, does not help me at all.  I just don't like talking about feelings.  It makes me uncomfortable.  To talk about others feelings is fine.  Wonderful, in fact.  I enjoy when others share what they feel with me, because that is a part of them.  Sharing what you know isn't special, because anyone can know something.  Sharing what you feel IS special because not everyone (and probably no one) can feel the exact way that you feel about something.  And even if they can feel their own interpretation of the same feeling, it isn't the same as YOU feeling it, because it's them not you.
If I feel so good when others share a part of themselves with me, what keeps me from also sharing a part?  Is it because I believe they won't treasure that like I do?  Is it because then I am more open to them, and thus more vulnerable?
I think so.
Wow, I am blowing my own mind right now, even if it doesn't influence you at all.
***
So...today:
-Had people over last night who stayed until very late.  (There were a plethora of emotions there.  Apathy, jealousy, anxiety, pride.)
-Woke up around 2 to a phone call from work telling me that they were using my on-call due to Justin, the head manager, going home sick.  (No emotional response.)
-Worked for 5 hours. (Not many emotions.  Happiness.  Light-hearted.  Childish.)
-Went to a Chinese New Years party that I was invited to by my friend Natosha.  It was alright.  I got there;  People went on the roof and lit sparklers; I looked out on the city and thought about Spiderman;  We played signs;  I left during an awkward pause in the action about an hour into the party.  I was lost beforehand in downtown Minneapolis due to some misinformation.  Afterwards I drove home quite sad that I didn't really meet anyone at the party, although there were many that I didn't know.  I think I am better at one-on-one meetings vs. a bunch of people that know each other meeting me, the outsider.  Or even a meeting of a bunch of strangers.  I don't feel comfortable being the only outsider.  So, I self-reflected on the way home, and felt bad, then I got home, watched some stuff on hulu and now I feel good again, ready for bed, church tomorrow, and the Super Bowl.
So, a minor roller coaster day, but C'est La Vie.
Tomorrow will be better.

~Boy

Foggin' Up The Mirrors

After a long day of work for me, and other misadventures including an (failed)attempt to gain a Minnesota Driver's License, I decided I wanted to be social.
The party commenced at my house circa 10:30 and went 'til almost 4:30 in the morning.
I'd say it was a success.

Now!!  Time for sleep.

~Boy

Phew

So, tonight, due to the fact that it is a Thursday, I was at karaoke.  It was a good night.  There is much to be said about it.  BUT, I shall start with the most important things first.  Namely:
-I AM A ROCKSTAR!
That's really all that can be said about that.
Oh, why am I so confident in my ability to both rock and be a star you ask?  Let me tell you the lineup of songs I bellowed to the heavens of rock...
--Breakfast At Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something (Something light to start; also a crowd favorite)
--Handlebars - Flobots(Had to show those dumb High Schoolers was rapping really is.  Too bad they had left by this point...)
--I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness(A crowd, friend, personal favorite.  It's what I'm known for)
--Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz(An old-timey funkathon for/with my friend Nick)
--Headstrong - Trapt(Get my rock to the climax; also a favorite of Courtney's)
--Uprising - Muse(Last song of the night AND a first-time for me)
Now, check out that lineup!  What could be better?
Oh, much, you say?  Well, what do you know...
All-in-all, I feel good about the evening.  Got some good socializing.  Got some good cake.  Got some good hugs.  Lots of G'n'G.  Gots'N'Goods.
I dunno, I just made it up.  Probably not my best, but it's hard to compare with that line I used earlier about "old-timey funkathon's"...
Get bent.
***
Tomorrow is a full day.  I have to wake up *early and go to the Orthodontist to get the little metal bar on the back of my lower teeth fixed.(It broke while brushing my teeth last week.  Yes, apparently I brush that hard that I can break plastic molding)  Then it's off to Hastings to get a new Driver's License, hopefully, followed by 4-hours of American Eagle work.  Thanks heavens it's shipment.  I love doing shipment.  I get to be physical, listen to my own music, and STILL get all the benefits of co-worker chatter without the downside of terrible boredom and music on the sales floor.  Plus I do it alone, and that's kinda nice.  I like people and everything, but sometimes it's nice to just do things on your own, ya know?  After that it's off to Hudson to do some computer work with my brother-in-law Bryan.  Which I will enjoy immensely.  Seriously.  I will.

*Early for me is anytime before 10-noon.  I have to wake up at 8:30.  Boo hoo.
***
With that all in mind, it is time for bathroom and bed.  B'n'B, as I like to call it.
What?  That acronym is already used?  Well phooey.
How about restroom and rest, R'n'R?
That, too?
Shoot.

~Boy

P.S. Eating granola in the morning has been the GREATEST thing I have EVER done for my diet/intestinal track.

Cough Cough Wheeze Sleep? Nah...

I am officially sick of being sick.  What's worse is the fact that I'm not even REALLY sick anymore.  I function 99% during the day (with an allowance of error of 1%) and then as soon as 2AM or so rolls around, I start coughing every 10 seconds.  

-Where is this cough during the day?  

-Why does it only come in the early mornings? 

-Why don't you just go to bed earlier, Spenser, and sleep through the cough?  

Well, my very astute reader, I am a creature of habit.  I like doing things because I have always done them.  Not all things mind you!  I like doing things because I like doing things, but there are certain parts of my schedule that I do simply because I have always done them and am not ready to give them up.

One of those things just happens to be my sleep cycle.

Sure, I am CAPABLE of going to bed earlier and waking up earlier and being like every other boring person on the planet...but I want to stay up.

-Well what do you do all those hours that you're awake while everyone else is sleeping?

I do all the things that YOU do while YOU'RE awake.  I practice guitar.  I play hackey-sack.  I eat.(snacks)  I drink.(water)  I play video games.  I even use the restroom every once in a while!  And most importantly, I learn!  That's right.  I study up on things.

-Like what?

Right now I'm reading a book that my step-aunt gave to me for Christmas, entitled 50 Great Myths Of Popular Psychology by Scott Lilienfeld.  I love Psychology.  I like learning about the human brain, and what exactly we think it does.  I like learning about people, and why they do things.  I like learning.  Period.

This book talks about, you guessed it(but only because you're so smart) 50 great myths of popular psychology!! Such things as, "The average human only uses 10% of their brain" and "opposites attract," are covered in the book and are completely debunked.

You see, even in reading this book I am finding glimpses of the Gospel.  Does the book ever speak of religious matters?  I don't think so.  My mind is just so fantastical that it puts them there!  I make my own little connections, because I think it's fun.

For instance, the biggest connection that I make with every page that I read is the common theme of truth behind lies.  Many(if not all) of these myths are based on facts.  BASED ON but not facts themselves.(that's why they're myths)  Many things that *satan tells us are half-truths.  What did he say in the garden of Eden?

Genesis 3:4-5 -- "And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."

Now, I took the liberty of underlining the lie.  They WOULD in fact bring death, disease, and pain into this world by partaking of the fruit, but he did not lie about their acquisition of knowledge by partaking of the fruit.  That was true.

Half-truths...They are definitely no fun.

Now, is this a HUGE half-truth in the timeline of eternity?  Somewhat, and that's not really consequential to my statement right now, but it could be discussed in greater detail later.  So we will move on past that.  All that matters at this moment is that it fits my purposes.

*A little trick I learned from Sister Oaks(yes, the wife of Elder Dallin H. Oaks) when I heard her give a talk at the University of Utah Institute of Religion was that she never capitalizes satan.  She feels like that is her own little way to jab at him for being all evil and stuff, and it makes her feel good.  I thought it was funny and clever, so I have adopted this as well.

***

SO, that was one huge, fun sidetrack.

The point being, I don't like coughing when I don't feel like coughing.  I don't like going to bed early.  I don't like it Sam I Am, I do not like green eggs and ham. (Pineapple and ham, however, is quite delicious.  Especially when put on a pizza)

And so I will probably keep staying up late, hoping that this darn cough works itself out.

***

Oh ya, did I mention I lost my wallet two days ago(now three days ago, due to the time right now)?

I don't know where it is, or where I lost it, but it is definitely gone.  Somewhere.

Now I actually have to get a Minnesota Driver's License.  I have lived here for 2 years and 4 months, and I have avoided it this long, and NOW I have to get one.  Just a matter of weeks before I leave for Idaho.  Talk about bummers.

BUT, it is official now, I am living with Brain Bourgerie and Mike Lehman next semester in Apt. #9, and it is going to be the greatest semester of my life MOST DEFINITELY.

***

Now I guess I will go to bed, if this cough will let me...

~Boy

Relapse?

So, although my headache is now gone, my cough has returned with a vengeance.  Fantastic.
I wonder if there would be any negative side-effects of taking a Dayquil and the Naproxen I already took...
I guess I could check the internet...
***
I really enjoy playing guitar.  I almost learned another song tonight, from no experience to mastery.
I think I could be good IF I was dedicated at all.  The problem is, I just get so darn distracted.  So very, very easily.
That is usually why I forget to blog on here most nights.
***
My music collection is becoming more and more organized.  Which is nice.  I've wanted to organize all my songs and get all of the information for them and album artwork and everything probably since I got this computer, and now it is finally coming to fruition.  If only I didn't get distracted so easily...
***
Tonight I ended up having to teach at FHE with basically no preparation at all.  Long story short, there was a snowstorm, lots of people didn't come.  I was put in charge due to leadership absence, and then the teacher didn't come either.  So I pulled a lesson out of my magical hat and gave it.  Not my best.  Probably not my worst.  Luckily I have a chance to redeem myself in a couple weeks.  That should be better.  Because, you know, I'll have time to prepare it and get everything all ready and will know that I'm giving the lesson more than an hour in advance.  And that's always nice.

~Boy