Huzzah!...?

Since my roommates and I have started a cooperative blog, and SINCE I am now a follower of said blog, I felt it appropriate to update here every once in a while.

AND, it is also appropriate to post here saying "hello!" in case you have stumbled here from that source or any other source really.

This blog, in general, isn't as funny as the other blog, so you may not find it interesting if that's the kind of thing you're looking for.  HOWEVER, if you are here because you have become intrigued by the postings of Speasy, Spizzler, Spease-Meister or whatever other names I have, and would to travel further down the rabbit hole that is my brain, then this may or may not be the place to do that.

or a simple face-to-face conversation would accomplish that task as well.  So, maybe you should be more social and just talk to my face.

~Boy

Twizzle Berries and Little Green Fairies!

This one goes out to my dead homies, aka Megan.
It has been forever since I posted* and I won't lie.  It makes me feel guilty.
*NOTE: See forever = 2 months


Back when I was living in Minnesota I had a funny idea for the start of September, that for a whole month/year/whatever I was going to take a picture of myself first thing in the morning and post that on here, and I would change this into a blog almost entirely focused on my bed head.  For at least that period of time.  Then I'd change it later when I felt inspired.
***
School is going great!
Oh wait, you didn't know I was at school now?  OK, fine, I'll rewind...


First I was at home for the seven week break which was quite fantastic!  I got to hang out with lots of old, good friends, see some friends but NOT hang out with them, and even go on a fantastic date or two.


Now I'm out at school! (Refer to line #8)
***
I have come to deal with the fact that when it comes to relationships I am probably the equivalent of a high school female...
I see something I like, I go for it, and I get stuck on it, no matter the outcome.


FOR INSTANCE!


I have liked quite a few girls over the last couple years, but I have really liked one most of all, and I am rather stuck on her and anyone else just kinda seems sub-par.  I know it's a bad thing to do, but I do it anyway.  I can't help it.  Shut up.
***
I felt genuine school-related stress for the first time the other day...
After a day of classes and seeing syllabusi (plural syllabus) I thought to myself, "Self, how are you going to do this?!  You need to get a job, do well in school, AND get married?  What were you thinking?"  And then I went to sleep and woke up feeling great.
When I sleep lately I dream of the girl previously mentioned who I am stuck on, so I am able to feel refreshed and happy whenever I wake up.  Even if to nasty alarms and such...
ANYWHO...
Ya, so life is good.
The only thing I can really be unhappy about right now (that's out of my control) is my calling as FHE Dad again...I dislike this calling, and yet I am once again placed in it.  Apparently there is still a lesson for me to learn.  HARUMPH.


I need to go on more dates.  That's something I can control and would make me happier possibly.
***
I am mucho sleepy...passing out now.


~Boy

Lost In Translation or Trans-Fats. You Decide.

Throughout the day, and especially at night time, I get little jolts of inspiration.  I think of things I should write about, journal about, blog about, ANYTHING about.  But by the time it comes to sit down at my computer I lose all motivation to simply click the tab that says "Blogger" and actually do something about it.  So instead I have thousands of ideas, memories and whatnot that are lost forever.
Today is a prime example.

HECK!  I barely wanted to write a post about how I forget to write posts.
How awesome am I?

You know you like it.

~Boy

Sidetracked

Oh hey there Blog.
It sure has been a while.
You look like you're doing well.  Thank you.
***
While in the bathroom earlier this evening/morning I was contemplating evolution.  More specifically, complicated evolution.  Not monkeys into humans and that sort of whatnot, but individualized evolution.  The type that we do from the very start of our life cycle until the end.
It inspired me.  I was going to post about it here...


But instead I got sidetracked by trying to figure out some schooling details for the fall.  In which I shot myself in the foot not once, but twice.  Just minor grazings of my foot.  No arteries or anything. so it will be easy enough to recover, but it certainly stinks that things can't just always work out perfectly.


So now I'm too tired to talk about evolution, and I still need to read my scriptures before sleeping.
And since I think that is more important, I will do that instead.
***
ALSO, the following is everything I know about the Sun:
-If I stay in it too long I get burned.
-If I don't stay in it enough, people call me pasty and don't like me.
That is all.

~Boy

This One's For All My Dead Homies...

When I started working at American Eagle I didn't think anything of it.  Up to that point in time I had held 2 jobs.  McDonald's when I was 15ish, and Noodles'N'Company for the duration of the summer before my mission.  I quit McD's after only a month, and I was only at Noodles for 8-9 months.  I didn't quite know if all jobs were like that, but some people seemed to have been at these "job" things for quite a while!  Years even.  Decades if they were really dedicated/confused/stuck/etc.

It is coming closer and closer to my time to leave AE, after having worked there for 2 1/2 years, and I never EVER suspected I would get emotional about it.

Tonight was my last floorset at store 2062, and there was absolutely nothing special about it, which is ok, because floorsets are kinda crap to start with.  I also found out that my head Manager, Justin, turned in his two week notice today.  This is a man that has been with the company for somewhere around 10 years.  I never thought I'd see the day when he was no longer there.  He had always been there, and I figured he would continue to always be there.  All night, while building walls I couldn't wrap my head around this idea that he would someday be gone...

THIS IS CRAZY

I have dealt with death, loss, sadness, pain, grief, depression, but never have I felt this way.

One of my other managers, Roz, quit just a matter of weeks ago.  It was rather unexpected, but I hardly felt a thing.  I was a little sad that her quirky personality wouldn't be around anymore, but it was nothing emotional.  Just completely habitual I would say.

And now Justin is leaving and it feels like my whole world is turned upside down!  What will become of the store?  Who will the new Store Manager be?  What will happen to the happy, laughing atmosphere that is found at only our AE?  How long before Adam leaves, too?  What will the other employees think?  How long will they stick around?

I won't be around to find out the answer to any of these questions...and I'm glad for that.  I can't imagine an AE without my favorite people around.

And the strange thing is...it seems like everyone else is leaving about this time, too!

Our store is strange because we have little turn-over.  In an industry that is full of little teenagers that need a job just for nights after school for a couple years, or college kids that just need to work while home for the holidays, our store has been the exact opposite.  We have had a constant, unchanging workforce for almost the entirety of the 2+ years I've been here.  Now, we're all moving on...

It's like we are all getting a divorce or something!

This has all just become very real.  I guess before, I knew that I would someday leave, but I never imagined what the day would be like when it actually happened.  It's still quite...surreal.

But this is a retail job!  What is there to be emotional about?! 

Life is sure gonna be different in a month...

***

Life is amazing now.

~Boy

Dupe

That's pronounced Doo-peh, not doop.
***
Today was a fantastic day to be alive and a member of the Lord's church if you live in the Midwestern area of the United States.
-Stake conference broadcast with Elder Cook, Bishop Burton, and President Eyring.
-CES Fireside with Elder Perry.
Pretty good stuff.

So, on this topic, I had a couple pretty awesome revelations today, and a couple moments of increased determination:
-satan quivers when he see's faithful Saints on their knees.
The last week I have been doing fantastic with a little one of my persistent sins.  BUT, I have been doing terrible with my scripture reading and daily prayers.  So last night I picked back up my New Testament scripture reading and immediately today I am ambushed by all these temptations over again.  He wants so bad for us to just give up the simple, little, everyday things, because it is those things that keep us on the path of righteousness.  I gave the exact same talk at least twice on my mission of the everyday battles, and how they are more important in the long run than a single, glorious day.

(These could/should probably be added to the goal list I made earlier this year)
-I will only watch three television shows from here on out, Biggest Loser, The Office, and Community.  All other shows were funny, but they were ultimately an even bigger waste of time than absolutely anything else I could have been doing.
-For every hour of TV that I watch, pointless internet that I surf or video games that I play, I will spend the same amount of time during the week doing something productive...such as practicing guitar or piano, studying the scriptures or other church-related materials, or simply educational reading or music categorization.
-Daily workout is a must.  No exceptions.  Except the Sabbath, on which day I will abstain.  Just something, ANYTHING to get active again.  Winter has destroyed my physically fit drive, and that is terrible.
-Brush my teeth twice a day EVERY day, and always wash my face before bed.  I have gotten really lazy with this as well when going to bed so late at night.  If I can make time for other pointless activities in my life, I can certainly make time for a basic 5-minute routine of brushing and washing before bed.
***
Now I have to go to bed so I can get a jumpstart on some of these goals.
Ciao.

~Boy

NERD-DOM!

I recently purchased a TV.  Not just any TV.  A Vizio, 22" LED 1080p TV.  For just over 200 bucks!  From Wal-Mart!

I don't care what you have to say about Wal-Mart, so keep it to yourself.

THEN(as if that wasn't good enough) I bought some HDMI cables.  And proceeded to hook things up to said TV.

NOW I have the ability to switch channels between XBOX360 and being a second computer monitor.  A beautiful, big, shiny computer monitor.

AND I added a second hard drive to my computer and a second DVDR drive...

Life is good.

***

The Gospel is amazing.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately and how truly awesome it is to know 100%, without a doubt, absolutely that the way to God that I know is the path He wants ALL of His children to travel, and how fortunate I am that I was born into it so that I didn't have to search for it or have it come to me.

Did I still have to find my own rhythm?  Absolutely.  BUT that is a heck of a lot easier when you have others supporting you, helping you, and being examples for you.

***

Today, in EQ we talked a little about the Law of Consecration, and how ultimately God wants us to give all(time, talents, material goods, etc.) that He has given us back, or at least be willing should the circumstance arise that He, or one of His other children, needs it.

So we talked about time, and how we can consecrate our time to the Lord.  The teacher, Noah, had any of us willing to give a non-detailed breakdown of our time go up to the whiteboard and write it down.

I simply wrote:
20% Work

80% Fun

I didn't put MUCH effort or thought into my answer, but it felt to be roughly accurate...as long as I include sleeping, eating, and travel time as fun.

After we joked about it for a bit, and me actually doing some math, here's a rough outline of what I came to:

There are 168 hours in a week.

IF you get the recommended 8 hours of sleep per night, you sleep for a 1/3 of that time, or 56 hours.

So that's...

~33% of your week you spend asleep.

If you work a normal 40 hour work week, that comes to about...

~24% of your week is spent working.

If you spend roughly 14 hours a week(bare minimum 2 hours a day) of eating & hygiene...

~8% of your week is spent on eating & hygiene.

That equals a grand total of 65% leaving you a whopping 35% to do what you want with it.

Now, I didn't include it here, but I also figured in 9-10 hours of travel time every week just to get to different activities, meaning...

~6% of your week is spent traveling.

AND if you happen to be a good, spiritually-inclined, YSA Mormon with free time like myself, you spend about 7-8 hours a week doing things related to church, equaling...

~5% of your week is spent with church

That added to the previous totals equals 76% and 24% of used time/free time respectively.

Now, this may vary by person, of course, and some people have even gotten as good as doing two or three of these already listed activities at the same time.  I haven't.

This is the bare minimum for me.  I won't let myself be far from this schedule.

This, of course, will also change drastically once I'm in school.  For instance travel time will practically disappear and school will take up another rough 32-36 hours a week or somewhere around 20%.

BUT for the time being, I still have 24% that I have all to myself.  Or, roughly 40 hours a week.

Now, these are all rough estimates, don't get me wrong, but that still leaves me with a ton of time to just sit around and do whatever.

It's sobering to think about.

***

AND on that note...

I am a failure at most of my goals set earlier this year, but that doesn't mean I haven't stopped trying.

BUT life is good nonetheless.

~Boy

See Ya Later Butt Popcorn

The above statement is a translation of the only sentence I know how to say in Bulgarian.  Don't ask me to spell it on here.  It's impossible for me.
***
Today has been good, and you know how I know that?  I'm dead tired.
Days are always best if you end them ready to collapse.  Or so I like to believe...
Woke up and shoveled the driveway some more.  After all the snow we got it definitely needed to be shoveled a 2nd and 3rd time, and so it did.
Got ready for work.
Went to work for a couple hours.
Went to see I Am Number Four with my awesome friends.
Had Taco Mondays at Acapulco with same friends.  75 cent Tacos.  How do you beat that?!  And they are darn good tacos.
Spent the last couple hours playing Halo with Ivan.  All-in-all, it was a successful day, no matter what anyone else may say about it.
***
One of the beautiful messages of the Gospel is that you are as strong, or know as much, or are as saved as you allow yourself to be.  All the strength, glory, knowledge, spirit that God is willing to give you is entirely dependent upon yourself.  If you want to overcome something, it's as easy as turning off the natural man and allowing that strength to flow through you.  In application that can be really hard at times, but the principle is simple.  Same with knowledge.  God wants you to know His mysteries, and it is on your shoulders 100% whether or not He can reveal them to you, because He will never give you something that you're not prepared for.
It's awesome knowing the truth.

~Boy

Winnie The Pooh

I think that checking Craigslist for "Missed Connections" might be my new nightly routine.
It's amazing!
Not because I'm looking for myself, but just because it's funny to see what other people put.  I would have a hard time doing that and ACTUALLY thinking someone would respond.  Plus, I haven't had many love-at-first-sight moments...if any.
***
Today was a good day full of goodly goodingtons.
Started off with church, which was really good.  Messages of hope, faith and enduring to the end.  Always good.
Priesthood was awesome.  We had a lesson on work and responsibility.
I love the analogy of the storm.

You see, not every single little choice we make matters to God.  It doesn't matter what shoes we wear today.  It doesn't matter what we eat for breakfast.
This is like a storm.
Imagine that you are a rain cloud inside of a storm.
You are definitely part of something bigger than yourself, don't ever think otherwise.
That is besides the point.
He will move the storm system by the winds, and thus He will move you, and He may make all the conditions perfect for you to rain and bless the Earth with moisture, but He won't force you.  He will put you right where you need to be, fill you with water, and wait, but never force.
And when you do choose to rain, He won't guide every raindrop.  They will fall where they will fall.
He makes the conditions just right for us and what we need, not what we want, and then when we choose to rain, he will allow us to choose where the droplets fall.
Will things get done in His own due time?  Absolutely.  We just receive the blessings if we are the ones to accomplish His designs, not just wait for some other rain cloud to come along.

So I recognize that there are probably loopholes and oddities in my analogy, but I like it all the same.  I also mixed a couple analogies together, I think but whatever.
***
After church I came home and had some lunch and took a long nap.
Only to be woken to eat dinner and shovel the driveway.

Just when we thought that all the snow in Minnesota was gone, we get one last glimpse of Snowpocalypse.  It snowed over a foot in less than 10 hours.  May not have been the BIGGEST/FASTEST snowfall, but it's still coming down, and isn't supposed to stop until sometime later tomorrow.  So much for the Groundhog saying that Spring was coming soon.  Looks to ME that we still have quite a bit of winter left.

Darn Groundhog.

That's fine by me.  I would still like to get in a snowboarding trip sometime this winter.
BUT, I am so ready for some sunshine and warmer temperatures.  Last week was just a teaser of what warmth feels like.  I can't wait for it to return, because I want to wear my flip flops again.

~Boy

Dead Island

Tonight's volleyball was pretty epic.  I enjoyed it to say the least.
Now I have to go to bed so I can get up earlier than I want, so I can go to work earlier than I want, to do shipment faster than I want, so that I can end up doing something that I really want:
eating dinner with my dad.

Wish me speed!

~Boy

Falling is definite; Failing is optional

Tonight I taught the lesson at FHE.  It was a lesson that was relevant to me and at least one other person.  I don't know what everyone else thought of it, and I'm not sure how I feel about it (besides the initial bad feeling of "ohmygoshIambadateverything...") but it was alright.
***
Apparently today was a holiday.
Known as Valentine's Day.
I don't know what I was expecting exactly.  I haven't had a Valentine.  Ever.  I don't know why I thought this year would somehow be different.
I dressed all fancy.  I was extra nice.  I was funny.
Oh wait, that's just like every other day of my existence.

It sucks to hear people talking about Valentine's Day and how awesome it is when they have someone, and it's just as annoying to hear people complain about Valentine's Day and how much it sucks when they DON'T have someone.  But it is darn near impossible to ignore the fact that you should be celebrating/crying alone on that day because EVERYONE ELSE IS.

So despite my best efforts to treat this just like any other day of my existence, I am left feeling sad and lonely.
***
A bunch of friends (approximately/exactly 8) and I went and saw The Eagle tonight.  It was really good!  I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though it didn't start 'til 10'o'clock!!  Seriously.  Who does that.  Why not have a freaking earlier late showing.  Like 9 or 8:30.  Why do you have to wait 'til 10?
Either way, it was good.  And tasteful.  There was action, and it was good action, and there was implied violence and blood, but no blood was shown, besides an old wound, and very little violence.  Oh, and no sex, either.  All-in-all, a good family movie for those who are interested in Historical Fiction.  Or what I believe is Historical Fiction.  I honestly have no idea.

Anywho, at the start of the movie 2 friends and myself showed up late.  2 of us (males)naturally sat on the ends that were open and the third (female) sat a row up.  The person (female) I was sitting next to got up and left to go sit with the person (female) who had sat up a row.  Leaving me in a seat that was next to two empty seats.  So, moral of the story was that I watched the movie by myself.  And there happened to be some people that I knew there.
So, on Valentine's Day I end up getting the bigger shaft than the usual shaft I am used to receiving when viewing movies with groups of friends.  It helped me feel good about myself, and I think I will make origami flowers, bake cookies, and find a unicorn to poop a golden rainbow for me, so that I can use the magical rainpoopbow as ink to write a book about how great life is and why I should win the Nobel Prize for happiness.
***
Shove that in your card and smoke it.

~Boy

From The Awkwardly Feminine To The Possibly Canadian

The current layout of my bedroom puts my computer directly in front of the window, or at least half of it, and the crack from where the blinds don't fully cover the window is directly to the right of my monitor.

Why am I telling you this?

Because now you know why the cold airs comes in through that crack and directly onto my hand atop my mouse, making it frigidly cold ALL THE TIME.

***

Despite the fact that I sleep in until noon most days, I am slowly getting on top of my life.  I'm working on finances, planning class schedules ahead, doing taxes, etc.  It's fantastic!  But you know when I do this stuff?  2 AM of course; When else would I do it?

***

Tonight, as I was at another amazing night of karaoke, my friend Natosha texted me asking me about girls and stuff.

First, note about girls: (or as far as my experience has brought me) if they want to know who you like, it means they like you, and want you to say them...OR, they want you to ask them in return who THEY like, and then they can tell you that they like you.

ANYWAY, I got sidetracked.

So, she texts me, and starts talking girls and asking me who I like.  I respond with my "vague" yet true answer that I like a lot of people.  She comments on my vagueness and proceeds to badger me for more information as to why I'm not dating anyone then.

I freeze.

I have no idea how to respond to that.

Why AREN'T I dating someone?

It really comes down to my low self-esteem, but you don't just tell people that everyday.  So I start searching for other reasons as to why, or what could possibly be fueling my self-esteem issues.

I've got nothing.  And so that's what I give her.

"I dunno..."  She isn't happy with that, but goes to bed anyway.

So, whatever issues I have with dating any of the people that I am interested in, I had better sort out rather quick-like if I want to have any chance of getting a girl in Idaho.

***

Getting your driver's license sucks.

Note: I've already had one, just from another state.

Now, I have to get one in Minnesota because I lost my Wisconsin ID, and I have to take a test and get my driver's record and it's all just very tedious.  It would be so much easier if there was an online database that the local DMV could go to and check on the status of my previous ID.  Oh wait, there is one of those already?

It's called the internet?

Well, I'll be darned.  Apparently the DMV has never of this magical thing.  Their website hasn't been updated in YEARS (or at least looks it), all their services are either by mail or by phone, and they're just about as helpful online as they are in person.

***

There is a nasty smell in my fridge and it is tainting the water.

My yogurt tastes terrible.  Never, EVER will I betray Yoplait, again.  Anything else just isn't the same.

~Boy

P.S. Wimp.com is a wonderful resource for finding interesting videos about science/life/comedy/etc.  It has blown my mind tonight.

H2O

Not a whole lot to report today.
...
Worked.  Went to FHE.  Played video games.
...
Probably the most important part is when I bought some sweet argyle socks from Target for super cheap.
...
Oh, and I probably have bronchitis.

~Boy

Green and Yellow

Tomorrow is the big day.
What day?
Why, the Super Bowl of course!  It wouldn't matter if it wasn't Green Bay.
Listening to Green and Yellow by Lil Wayne before I go to bed for luck.
***
The last 24 hours have been full of all sorts of emotions.
(This is where you get to know me a little better if you don't know anything about me.)
Emotions are interesting topic for me.  I would say I am ultimately run by emotions, but I have a hard time talking about emotions.
When dealing with others, I often level with people on the plain of logic.  What is logical vs. what they feel they should do.  And although I see completely what is logical for myself, it is often my heart that has the last say on the matter, rather than my brain.
With that statement in mind, that I am run by emotion...
I just had a small revelation.  I was going to say that I don't understand why it is hard for me to talk about emotions, but that is just the answer as well as the question.
It doesn't make sense, and that is the point.  Emotion doesn't make sense.  That being said, however, does not help me at all.  I just don't like talking about feelings.  It makes me uncomfortable.  To talk about others feelings is fine.  Wonderful, in fact.  I enjoy when others share what they feel with me, because that is a part of them.  Sharing what you know isn't special, because anyone can know something.  Sharing what you feel IS special because not everyone (and probably no one) can feel the exact way that you feel about something.  And even if they can feel their own interpretation of the same feeling, it isn't the same as YOU feeling it, because it's them not you.
If I feel so good when others share a part of themselves with me, what keeps me from also sharing a part?  Is it because I believe they won't treasure that like I do?  Is it because then I am more open to them, and thus more vulnerable?
I think so.
Wow, I am blowing my own mind right now, even if it doesn't influence you at all.
***
So...today:
-Had people over last night who stayed until very late.  (There were a plethora of emotions there.  Apathy, jealousy, anxiety, pride.)
-Woke up around 2 to a phone call from work telling me that they were using my on-call due to Justin, the head manager, going home sick.  (No emotional response.)
-Worked for 5 hours. (Not many emotions.  Happiness.  Light-hearted.  Childish.)
-Went to a Chinese New Years party that I was invited to by my friend Natosha.  It was alright.  I got there;  People went on the roof and lit sparklers; I looked out on the city and thought about Spiderman;  We played signs;  I left during an awkward pause in the action about an hour into the party.  I was lost beforehand in downtown Minneapolis due to some misinformation.  Afterwards I drove home quite sad that I didn't really meet anyone at the party, although there were many that I didn't know.  I think I am better at one-on-one meetings vs. a bunch of people that know each other meeting me, the outsider.  Or even a meeting of a bunch of strangers.  I don't feel comfortable being the only outsider.  So, I self-reflected on the way home, and felt bad, then I got home, watched some stuff on hulu and now I feel good again, ready for bed, church tomorrow, and the Super Bowl.
So, a minor roller coaster day, but C'est La Vie.
Tomorrow will be better.

~Boy

Foggin' Up The Mirrors

After a long day of work for me, and other misadventures including an (failed)attempt to gain a Minnesota Driver's License, I decided I wanted to be social.
The party commenced at my house circa 10:30 and went 'til almost 4:30 in the morning.
I'd say it was a success.

Now!!  Time for sleep.

~Boy

Phew

So, tonight, due to the fact that it is a Thursday, I was at karaoke.  It was a good night.  There is much to be said about it.  BUT, I shall start with the most important things first.  Namely:
-I AM A ROCKSTAR!
That's really all that can be said about that.
Oh, why am I so confident in my ability to both rock and be a star you ask?  Let me tell you the lineup of songs I bellowed to the heavens of rock...
--Breakfast At Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something (Something light to start; also a crowd favorite)
--Handlebars - Flobots(Had to show those dumb High Schoolers was rapping really is.  Too bad they had left by this point...)
--I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness(A crowd, friend, personal favorite.  It's what I'm known for)
--Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz(An old-timey funkathon for/with my friend Nick)
--Headstrong - Trapt(Get my rock to the climax; also a favorite of Courtney's)
--Uprising - Muse(Last song of the night AND a first-time for me)
Now, check out that lineup!  What could be better?
Oh, much, you say?  Well, what do you know...
All-in-all, I feel good about the evening.  Got some good socializing.  Got some good cake.  Got some good hugs.  Lots of G'n'G.  Gots'N'Goods.
I dunno, I just made it up.  Probably not my best, but it's hard to compare with that line I used earlier about "old-timey funkathon's"...
Get bent.
***
Tomorrow is a full day.  I have to wake up *early and go to the Orthodontist to get the little metal bar on the back of my lower teeth fixed.(It broke while brushing my teeth last week.  Yes, apparently I brush that hard that I can break plastic molding)  Then it's off to Hastings to get a new Driver's License, hopefully, followed by 4-hours of American Eagle work.  Thanks heavens it's shipment.  I love doing shipment.  I get to be physical, listen to my own music, and STILL get all the benefits of co-worker chatter without the downside of terrible boredom and music on the sales floor.  Plus I do it alone, and that's kinda nice.  I like people and everything, but sometimes it's nice to just do things on your own, ya know?  After that it's off to Hudson to do some computer work with my brother-in-law Bryan.  Which I will enjoy immensely.  Seriously.  I will.

*Early for me is anytime before 10-noon.  I have to wake up at 8:30.  Boo hoo.
***
With that all in mind, it is time for bathroom and bed.  B'n'B, as I like to call it.
What?  That acronym is already used?  Well phooey.
How about restroom and rest, R'n'R?
That, too?
Shoot.

~Boy

P.S. Eating granola in the morning has been the GREATEST thing I have EVER done for my diet/intestinal track.

Cough Cough Wheeze Sleep? Nah...

I am officially sick of being sick.  What's worse is the fact that I'm not even REALLY sick anymore.  I function 99% during the day (with an allowance of error of 1%) and then as soon as 2AM or so rolls around, I start coughing every 10 seconds.  

-Where is this cough during the day?  

-Why does it only come in the early mornings? 

-Why don't you just go to bed earlier, Spenser, and sleep through the cough?  

Well, my very astute reader, I am a creature of habit.  I like doing things because I have always done them.  Not all things mind you!  I like doing things because I like doing things, but there are certain parts of my schedule that I do simply because I have always done them and am not ready to give them up.

One of those things just happens to be my sleep cycle.

Sure, I am CAPABLE of going to bed earlier and waking up earlier and being like every other boring person on the planet...but I want to stay up.

-Well what do you do all those hours that you're awake while everyone else is sleeping?

I do all the things that YOU do while YOU'RE awake.  I practice guitar.  I play hackey-sack.  I eat.(snacks)  I drink.(water)  I play video games.  I even use the restroom every once in a while!  And most importantly, I learn!  That's right.  I study up on things.

-Like what?

Right now I'm reading a book that my step-aunt gave to me for Christmas, entitled 50 Great Myths Of Popular Psychology by Scott Lilienfeld.  I love Psychology.  I like learning about the human brain, and what exactly we think it does.  I like learning about people, and why they do things.  I like learning.  Period.

This book talks about, you guessed it(but only because you're so smart) 50 great myths of popular psychology!! Such things as, "The average human only uses 10% of their brain" and "opposites attract," are covered in the book and are completely debunked.

You see, even in reading this book I am finding glimpses of the Gospel.  Does the book ever speak of religious matters?  I don't think so.  My mind is just so fantastical that it puts them there!  I make my own little connections, because I think it's fun.

For instance, the biggest connection that I make with every page that I read is the common theme of truth behind lies.  Many(if not all) of these myths are based on facts.  BASED ON but not facts themselves.(that's why they're myths)  Many things that *satan tells us are half-truths.  What did he say in the garden of Eden?

Genesis 3:4-5 -- "And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."

Now, I took the liberty of underlining the lie.  They WOULD in fact bring death, disease, and pain into this world by partaking of the fruit, but he did not lie about their acquisition of knowledge by partaking of the fruit.  That was true.

Half-truths...They are definitely no fun.

Now, is this a HUGE half-truth in the timeline of eternity?  Somewhat, and that's not really consequential to my statement right now, but it could be discussed in greater detail later.  So we will move on past that.  All that matters at this moment is that it fits my purposes.

*A little trick I learned from Sister Oaks(yes, the wife of Elder Dallin H. Oaks) when I heard her give a talk at the University of Utah Institute of Religion was that she never capitalizes satan.  She feels like that is her own little way to jab at him for being all evil and stuff, and it makes her feel good.  I thought it was funny and clever, so I have adopted this as well.

***

SO, that was one huge, fun sidetrack.

The point being, I don't like coughing when I don't feel like coughing.  I don't like going to bed early.  I don't like it Sam I Am, I do not like green eggs and ham. (Pineapple and ham, however, is quite delicious.  Especially when put on a pizza)

And so I will probably keep staying up late, hoping that this darn cough works itself out.

***

Oh ya, did I mention I lost my wallet two days ago(now three days ago, due to the time right now)?

I don't know where it is, or where I lost it, but it is definitely gone.  Somewhere.

Now I actually have to get a Minnesota Driver's License.  I have lived here for 2 years and 4 months, and I have avoided it this long, and NOW I have to get one.  Just a matter of weeks before I leave for Idaho.  Talk about bummers.

BUT, it is official now, I am living with Brain Bourgerie and Mike Lehman next semester in Apt. #9, and it is going to be the greatest semester of my life MOST DEFINITELY.

***

Now I guess I will go to bed, if this cough will let me...

~Boy

Relapse?

So, although my headache is now gone, my cough has returned with a vengeance.  Fantastic.
I wonder if there would be any negative side-effects of taking a Dayquil and the Naproxen I already took...
I guess I could check the internet...
***
I really enjoy playing guitar.  I almost learned another song tonight, from no experience to mastery.
I think I could be good IF I was dedicated at all.  The problem is, I just get so darn distracted.  So very, very easily.
That is usually why I forget to blog on here most nights.
***
My music collection is becoming more and more organized.  Which is nice.  I've wanted to organize all my songs and get all of the information for them and album artwork and everything probably since I got this computer, and now it is finally coming to fruition.  If only I didn't get distracted so easily...
***
Tonight I ended up having to teach at FHE with basically no preparation at all.  Long story short, there was a snowstorm, lots of people didn't come.  I was put in charge due to leadership absence, and then the teacher didn't come either.  So I pulled a lesson out of my magical hat and gave it.  Not my best.  Probably not my worst.  Luckily I have a chance to redeem myself in a couple weeks.  That should be better.  Because, you know, I'll have time to prepare it and get everything all ready and will know that I'm giving the lesson more than an hour in advance.  And that's always nice.

~Boy

Lost In The Tide

Once you see the grand design behind a certain event, or a principle that you are supposed to live, it becomes all too easy to give up your own desires and follow what you SHOULD be doing, instead of what you WANT to do.
This week has sucked as far as vacation time goes.  Parents are away, so naturally children should play, right?  Usually, yes.  This time, no.  I've been sick all week.  And it has sucked a ton.  I've even complained a little bit about it on here, ya.  BUT, today I finally saw why I needed to be sick this week.
So, my life has been what some might call pampered...
I have parents that love me.
Friends that trust me.
I like my jobs.
All is well in my life, basically.
The longest time I've spent outside of my parent's house, however, was the two years I was in the service and protection of the Lord, which you could hardly call being away from home at all!
And so I don't quite know how to take care of myself.  This week has been a crash course in life.  Suddenly, there was no mommy to take care of me when I get sick.  There was no one to take me to the Urgent Care this afternoon.  There was no one to buy me orange juice.  This was all me time, and it was a good time to be had.
I think I'm a lot more prepared for heading off to college now than I was at the start of this week.
CRAP JUST GOT REAL
If only there was someone to hold your hand the entire way through your life and make sure you never get sick or bumps or bruises...life would suck.  It's the ups that make the downs, and vice versa.
When out in the real world, there isn't a whole lot of time to just sit on your butt and play video games.  Well, not if you ever want to move out of your parent's basement at least.  You have to get out and DO THINGS.
It's been somewhat eye-opening for me.
***
Why do doctors treat symptoms and not diseases?  I have no idea what is wrong with me this week.  I don't know what disease I had that caused me to be sick.  All I know is that I had a fever, runny nose, cough, headache, and those are now taken care of.  C'est La Vie.
***
I had something else earlier today that I wanted to post about...but I forgot it.
Drat.

~Boy

BlahBlahBlah

Sometimes, life is just boring.
It's unfortunate that that time just happens to fall during the days when I am sick and have absolutely nothing to do.
***
Today was nice.  Woke, up.  My home teachers ACTUALLY visited my home and taught me here instead of at the institute like usual.
It's always nice when others get to see how far away I really live, so that they can feel some form of sympathy.
Then I caught up on my favorite tv shows, being The Office and Community.  I also am trying to like another new show called Perfect Couples.  It's just not doing it for me, though.  Then I took a nap.
I woke up, again, and headed to the Fun-Filled Friday activity at the Institute of Religion where we watched my copy of How To Train Your Dragon, that my home teacher Chris had borrow earlier that day for that specific purpose.  It was an ok evening.  The best part was all the hot chocolate I got to drink.  And there was some donuts there, too.  Which were nothing special.  Except for that last apple fritter.  I love apple fritters.  Mm mm, apple fritters.*
***
I took a Nyquil about an hour and a half ago, and so I am getting quite woozy.  I think it's time to read from the New Testament and go to sleep, now.  Romans is so interesting!!  I can see why many born-agains would get their facts terribly screwed up due to it, but I can also see how easy it would be to overcome any skepticism they might have.  Oh, if I only had the knowledge and gusto that I do now, back when I was a missionary.  Hindsight stinks.
*See, Inside Joke.

~Boy

P.S. I also played guitar for a bit somewhere in there.  I don't quite remember when, so if you're looking for a minute-by-minute breakdown of my life, I apologize.

Except Me

Boy, the times they are a-changin' indeed!
Less than 3 months ago, I knew less than 3 people who were engaged.  Now, I can think of...at least 6.  NONE OF WHICH ARE THE ORIGINAL 3!!
Moral of the story:  Everyone is getting married.
Ivan and I have talked about this a couple times*  The crazy fact that seemingly everyone we know is getting married!  Or has plans to get married sometime soon.  Now, of course there are a couple factors working against us.  Most notably that we are at a marrying age.  People in there early-to-mid twenties get married.(At least in Mormon culture)  Even people OUTSIDE of our religious mindset get married sometime in their 20's, usually.  And so I am left to wonder what is so very wrong with myself that I am not part of this mass that seem to all be jumping aboard the same train to Marriagetown.  Some would argue that perhaps it is not something wrong with you so much as it is something wrong with the world.
I have no problem telling these people they are wrong and there is definitely something wrong with me.
OK, well, maybe not "wrong" with me, but it is definitely out of my choosing.  I have a few major issues with where I can currently fall economically, educationally, socially, etc. that make me feel uncomfortable with being married at this exact point in time.
Don't get me wrong.  I love the thought of marriage.  I want to be married.  Very.  Very badly.  BuuuuUUuUUuUuuuuUuuut, I just don't see myself being able or willing to go on sincere dates or hold really meaningful relationships when I am living in my parents basement, working in a sub-par retail position, with little-to-no education in my intended field.  (or it's really just a downstairs, seeing as how the door to the ACTUAL basement is directly next to the entrance to my room)
But alas, soon I shall move on to Idaho, to the land where young, single LDS women flow like honey.
*See 'every day.'

Now, I know of the danger in believing that the grass is always greener on the other side.  Trust me.  I know too well the dangers of thinking of tomorrow being better than today.  The truth is that tomorrow is just another day. Like today.  And yesterday.  And every day before that, or any day AFTER that.  Days are days are days.
They are what we make of them.
If I wake up in the morning and believe that I'm going to have a great day, I WILL have a great day because I will be looking for the great things in it.  If I wake up thinking today is going to suck, it WILL suck because I will be looking for the bad things all day long so that I can keep myself down in the rut that I chose to dig.
It's a principle called self-fulfilling prophesy.  Read about it.  It's true.
People for the last couple years have wondered how I can stay so positive, even during times that SHOULD be hard for the average person.  I have two answers:
1.)I want to be happy, so I am happy.
2.)OBVIOUSLY the Gospel.  What did you think I was going to say, adventure?  Drugs?  Money?  Silly Goose, Trix are for kids with dulled taste buds.
THAT BEING SAID...
-I know that Idaho isn't inherently going to be better than the situation that I am in now.
-I know that the reason I'm not married is because I haven't been making myself available for marriage.
-I know that life is what I make of it.
I'm going to make it happy.

I have a couple hurdles to go through(or over, I guess would be the more correct terminology) and then I will be ready.  And when that day comes.  Look out world.
***
Alka Seltzer Plus Night Time tastes horrible(even if the package says Lemon, I know that it really means baby giraffe urine.) but BOY does it make you sleepy.  I am going to go pass out now.

~Boy

P.S. I love hacky sack.  So very, very much.
P.P.S. I have been blessed far more than I deserve.

Boyhood

I've been sick for the last 3 days...It started on Sunday night, and I continued to do things for who KNOWS what reason.  I went out to FHE on Monday.  Went to Institute on Tuesday.  Now, I've spent all day today (Wednesday) inside, doing nothing but sluffing around the house.  I've decided that Wednesday is the worst day to be sick, because there is no good TV.  So, even when I go to my last resort of entertainment (TV) there is no relief.  I am just left to again, be bored out of my mind.
Watched a couple movies.
Played some video games.
Checked every website known to man.  Twice.
Still looking for things to do.
Guess I could be productive and practice guitar or something...Nah.
Been hacking up the nastiest colored gunk I've ever seen.  Not pleasant.  Not one bit.  By midday I feel alright, but in the morning and at night I feel like utter trash.
***
I had a dream the other day.  I don't remember the context of the dream, I just remember in the end of it, I had to snap someone's neck.  It was a mercy kill.  An escape for a loved one who was doomed to a much worse fate.
And even though I dreamed this, I can still recall the sound, the feel, the pop in my mind as if it actually happened.  It was a terrible feeling.  I hope I never have to experience anything even close to it in real life.
***
In institute on Tuesday night we spoke about Section 84 in the Doctrine and Covenants.  Usually we cover a couple sections a week, but this time we focused entirely on one.  It's the section about the Priesthood.  A really awesome section, worthy of study by any member of the Church.  Directly afterwards Ivan and I drove northward to give a blessing to a newly baptized member in the ward.  She is having a hard time with certain people in her life, and dealing with problems of feeling alone.  I think that just our willingness to give the blessing was a comfort to her in itself.  Hopefully our faithfulness, the missionaries prayers, and her determination for right will help to seal that blessing upon her for comfort and safety within the blessed arms of Christ.
It was neat to be able to learn about the priesthood, and then to go and act with that priesthood for the blessing of another child of God.  The Gospel is everywhere.
We had a conversation with the missionaries on Tuesday night before Institute, when we fed them, about how you can find the Gospel in absolutely anything.  And it's true!  Almost anything, when placed in the hands of one who has the Spirit, can be made into a metaphor of some key principle of the Gospel.
***
I need to buy new shoes.
I got into the trend of wearing "Chucks," despite the fact that they are completely flat-footed, offer no protection from the elements in winter, and get dirty really easily.  I am over this trend now, and want to go back to comfortable shoes that are nice to look at, nice to wear, and that are nice TO me.
It also helps that Ivan and I found a store at the Mall of America that sells really good hacky sacks.  So we both purchased one, and I hope to get back into it strongly.
***
It is time to go to bed now.  I am very tired, and as I mentioned earlier, nights aren't the best feeling times for me right now.

~Boy

Nightmare Kitchen

When was the last time you hugged someone and meant it?
Perhaps you're much different than me, and hug people only because you genuinely like them, or for some other reason.
I used to be that way.
Now, due to my friend group's frequency of hugging, or prior frequency (things have slowed down a bit), when I hug someone, it's out of repetition, habit, etc.  I haven't really been hugging people for the right reasons.
People used to tell me that they loved my hugs because they were genuine.  Because I hugged them like they really cared.  I didn't know what they were talking about at first because that's the only type of hug I gave.  Now, after much desensitization I have realized what they meant.

The last two nights I've had the opportunity to spend time with my good friend, Kyle.  It was great fun, and when the night was over I felt closer to him, and gave him sincere hugs as he left.  It felt different than my usual hugs, and I think that he could feel that difference.  It probably felt more like my hugs used to.

Signs of affection are funny.
***
You can't dig yourself out of a rut, digging only results in deeper ruts.  You must climb out of a rut.  Seek for higher ground.
And if need be, grab the hand of One who already stands on higher ground.  Then turn around and help those who were in the rut with you out.  That way you all profit together.

~Boy

The Times They Are A-Changin'

So, I live a pretty care-free lifestyle.  That's fair to say.
There is one thing I care a lot about, though.
Fat.
I don't like it all that much.
Not on me.
Not on others.
Just not a big fan.

SO...I am quite saddened by my current state of affairs.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Spenser, you're not fat at all?  What is your deal?" or maybe, "Spenser.  This is very inconsiderate.  Fat people can't help it." or perhaps, "You go, girl!"
Meh.

At one point during my mission I was doing 300 sit-ups a day, and over 100 push-ups a day.  What the crap happened?  I wasn't even buff, then!  That was to just keep off the fat from all the freakin' steak and other amazing food that people fed us(and all the junk I got in packages from my mom).

Don't get me wrong.  I love food.  I am not a health-nut.
I love eating candy.  I love drinking soda.
I could really care less how many calories I take in in a day.  I don't count.  I don't really work that hard to be the shape I am.
I just want to get back to the point where I can work out like I could in California.
But you know what my problem is?  Of course you do.  It's the same problem as every other person in America.  I get distracted.  By television.  By the internet.  By everything that ISN'T a productive activity.  By everything that keeps me in my ultra-comfortable rocking chair in front of my computer.

When I get to Idaho, I know I will be in much better shape.  I will be active.  I will have a gym.  I will have a pool.  What more could I need?
Here, I have a floor, some pull-up straps over a door, and a computer.

This is my post to dedicate myself to working out.  To getting stronger.  To becoming who I am supposed to be.
That's all.  Blargh.

~Boy

Too Late

B'uh.  I have to get up at 8.  Why do I do this to myself?
***
So, I've gotten into a terrible habit of, right around this time of night when I'm getting ready for bed, thinking about spiritual matters, or matters of some importance in the world and thinking to myself, "oh man!  I should blog about that!!  That's a really cool thought!" but instead getting distracted or discouraged and just going to bed and completely forgetting about them.  Tonight is no different.

Except here I am, writing.
***
So, in little bullets, here are small bits of what I have thought about in the last little while.
-Every message I've heard in church and elsewhere recently has been about moving on.  Letting go of the past and looking to the future.  This only makes sense being the start of the new year, but it also has special implications for me right now at this time of my life as well.  So, I guess that I'm getting the message to move on, and I shall do so.
-Is life like a chess game or like dominoes?  How do you explain fate vs. predestination?
-Think about the "daily bread."  The things that I need help with every day of my life.  Not what I need tomorrow.  Not about what I did yesterday(see bullet point #1).  What I need today.

That's all.
***
Tonight's thought, that finally got the better of me and made me feel that I HAD to write it somewhere, is that 95% of life is timing.  Or at least it is right now.

The Lord puts you in a certain place at a certain time so that you can perform a certain action.  What happens if while in that place and time you don't perform?  You have thrown off the timing.
Luckily, most of the places and times are of little significance in the grand scheme of things.  Unfortunately, we CAN make ourselves more miserable by missing out on those chances.  Let me give you an example:

-Girl C meets Boy B, they date, and break-up
-Boy A meets Girl A, they are acquaintances
-Boy A meets Girl B, they are friends, and travel a summer together as camp counselors
-Boy A meets Girl C, Boy A is smitten.  Girl C is also, secretly, smitten. <---
-Girl A meets Boy C, Boy A is smitten.  They are friends. --->
-Boy A and Girl C become good friends. <---
-Girl A develops feelings for Boy A; They are not returned.
-Girl B develops feelings for Boy A; They are not returned.
-Girls A and B lose interest in Boy A
-Girl C travels, sees Boy B, and is smitten with Boy B, again.
-Boy A and Girl C admit feelings for one another!
-Girl C begins dating Boy B.
-Boy C proposes to Girl A.
-Boy A is alone.

Do you see where the timing was?  In case you didn't notice, I put arrows pointing to the important parts.
--Had Boy A and Girl C been open from the beginning, Boy B would have never entered the picture.
--Had Girls A and B developed feelings BEFORE Boy A met Girl C, Girl C would have never been part of the picture.
--Had Boy C not waited, he could have lost Girl A.

So...we are left with timing.
It's amazing to me how tightly the puzzles of our lives fit together.  If we try to modify one piece, try to alter one step in the process, we can mess up our entire picture.  Or we can just end up lonely for a while.
Either way, we can mess things up due to our selfishness.  That's ultimately what being shy is.  It's being selfish and prideful.  We care more about our pride than about the timing that the Lord has worked to create.
***
Well, that's all fine and dandy, but what are you gonna do about it?
Notice the moments that you are in.  Take note and take charge of your life.  You've lost too many opportunities to being prideful and shy.  It's time to change.

~Boy

Addictions

So...here I am, at 5 A.M. on Thursday morning, and I still haven't gone to sleep.  I got home from a pretty good Rock Band 3 party at Kyle's house in River Falls and decided to clean up my room because it is A MESS!  Well, was a mess.  Now it's cleaner.  Thank heavens.
It got really messed up on Monday night when Ivan spent the night and we brought in our family room TV to my room so we could have some amazing gaming opportunities!  Well, to do that, we had to shuffle some other stuff around, now leaving that stuff to go elsewhere, creating a mess.
ANYWAY, that's not the point of the story.
The point of the story is that at the same time that I started cleaning my room (and eating an orange as part of my goal to eat a fruit a day) I started watching The Biggest Loser on hulu.  In case you don't know what that is, it's a TV show about big people who compete to lose the most weight.
It really makes me want to work out.  Badly.  I really hope I'm never obese.  And luckily, hope leads to faith, faith leads to action.  Yay for true principles!
***
Speaking of goals that I've already mentioned and put down in multiple places:
I lied.  I didn't end up putting them down on my desktop in Excel like I said I was going to.  I got distracted and end up not.  But, I will do it now.  I am going to take a break from this post so that I can.
***
It's done.  They're written down now.
***
Holy cow this show is amazing!  That will never happen to me.  I don't care if the last thing I can do is starve myself, I won't ever be that big.  Ever.
Think of the stretch marks.  Jeepers.
***
I like thinking about my mission.  Those are happy memories.
Missions are amazing because despite the fact that every day you face disappointment, heartache, and upset I can only remember happiness and blessings.
AND I HAD KIDNEY STONES!!
So many rough, bad times, but yet life was still awesome!  I want to talk to my converts.  They're all awesome.
***
I forget what else I wanted to say, but life is amazing.  I am excited for school to start in April, and I'm really grateful for my friends and family.
Now on to those goals...

~Boy

Postacular!

Today was a day!  I don't know how to describe it really.  I woke up at 7:30, so that was darn early, and I worked until 4:30, so that was a lot of work.  During lunch I went to Wendy's with Ivan, but only took my lunch after I had finished updating one computer to Windows 7.  It was awesome!  I got a whole 2 done today!  Well...almost 2.  Like.... 1 and 3/4.
After work I went to Ivan's, and watched him play Fable 3 for a while before we left for FHE.
FHE was good, but we were scared that not many people were gonna show up.  It was 7'o'clock and there were like 6 people there.  By the end we had more like 20 or something.  So that was neat-o!
***
Now Ivan is at my house, spending the house, and we are Skyping with our friend Mandy, who is at BYU-Idaho, and her roommate, whoever that is.
It is fun.  Girls are giggly.  Ivan is a ladies man.  I am typing this.
***
Other than that, today wasn't really exciting or anything.  Just a lot of work and play.  Hopefully after we are done with Skype we can play video games!!  YAY!

~Boy

New Year, New You

This weekend I made a last-minute decision to travel down to Chicago with Ivan to visit Ellie, Jessie, Gloria, and Joe.  Needless to say, it was a blast!!

And Ellie has the coolest family ever.  Period.

***

While visiting, Ivan and I attended church with Ellie and her family and in Elder's Quorum we conversed about goals, seeing as how it IS the New Year.  So, while sitting there, I decided to take a couple notes on my iPod Touch on any goals that came to my mind.  Here they are:

-Physical--swim every week

*I may need to wait 'til at college for this one, or get a gym membership

-Social--Go on a date once a month

*This is much bigger for me than it may appear for the average 20-something boy.  It could downright kill me.

-Spiritual--Fast, correctly, each month

-Fiscal--Save 1000$ by year's end

-Fiscal--Don't get pulled over all year

-Physical--Eat at least one fruit every day

-Spiritual/Cultural--Study a verse from the Book of Mormon every night in Japanese

-Spiritual--Attend the temple every month

-Spiritual--Get to know my Home Teaching families better/get at least 75% home taught each month

-Spiritual--Read applicable Preach My Gospel sections every two months

***

As you can see, most of the goals are spiritual, but I have a few more temporal items spattered in there.  I would really like to work on these, and they say the best way to keep a goal is to write it down.  So here it is.  As well as in a spreadsheet on my desktop.

Wish me luck!

~Boy